


We Bare Us

by Redstreak1989



Category: We Bare Bears (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-17
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-05-21 05:59:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 35,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6040831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redstreak1989/pseuds/Redstreak1989
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Panda finally gets a match on one of his favorite dating apps, it's from someone he expects the least, but sometimes it's those unexpected people we come to love the most.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Heartthrob

CRASH

“Ow……” Panda half heartedly cried as a dull throb of pain coursed through his body. His senses were still half asleep from the much needed nap he had been hastily woken up from. A loud series of beeps had sent him careening out of dreamland with a start, causing him to clumsily fall out of bed and onto the ground where he still currently lay. He groggily tried to pull himself back up with the bed as his support while the noise that had caused this mess still echoed around his room. He moaned as he finally stood fully upright and proceeded to fumble around on his bedside table for his contacts. When he had finally located and inserted them, he quickly began scouring his room for the source of the beeping. He was at a loss for what it could be as he had never heard anything sound like that before. He stuck his head outside of his door and peered into the kitchen, wondering if the noise was coming from a smoke detector that had been set off by one of Grizz’s numerous failed attempts at trying to become a better cook than Ice Bear, but, surprisingly, no one was around. Panda wondered if his brothers had gone outside so as to not bother him while he tried to nap. From time to time they were considerate like that.

Stepping out into the living room, he noticed that the noises sounded like they were getting farther away from behind him. Turning back to his room, he finally noticed what the source of his anguish was, his phone. He stared at it quizzingly and approached it. Panda had heard all sorts of different ringtones and alerts coming from his phone to inform him of new notifications from his various apps, but it had never done anything like this. He quickly started to panic as thoughts of it being broken flooded his head.

He tapped its home button and let the screen flood with light as a quiet gasp escaped his lips. Emblazoned across the device was the image of a large heart with a smaller white envelope nestled in the forefront. At the bottom of the screen, in large letters, was a flashy message reading “1 NEW MATCH FOR YOU.” Panda could hardly believe his eyes and wondered if just for a moment that he may actually still be dreaming. He had been signed up to this really popular dating app for months and had had absolutely no luck with it. Sure he had tried to initiate communication multiple times before, almost always ending with him being shut down for coming off as too “needy” as they put it, but he had never been the one approached before. He was nearly ecstatic with delight.

Sliding across the touch screen and putting in his password, the main menu of his phone popped open before him. He speedily scrolled through to the location of the app and clicked in. The app's menu intro played while he tapped his foot, giving a silent cheer when his account finally pulled up and he saw there was an actual notification for a match. He tapped the message icon with all the glee of a child opening gifts on Christmas. Little did he know that from his viewpoint, he was about to receive a stocking full of coal.

“What… what the hell is this?” Panda asked aloud, the aggravation in his tone fully evident. Staring back at him wasn’t the face of a gorgeous, fun-loving dame, but that of a clean cut, seemingly college aged male. Panda’s account clearly stated he had an interest in females only, so why was this guy trying to put something out there? He had heard stories from online forums about straight guys finding it hilarious to pretend to be gay and mess with other straight guys on the multitude of match-making sites that found their home on the internet, and Panda was fine with chalking this all up to that explanation, especially since he was irritated at having gotten his hopes up anyway. However, there was just something about this guy that made him hesitate to press the delete button. He didn’t know if it was the rare feeling of possibly having been genuinely considered attractive by someone, girl or boy, that at least made him feel a little good inside, or if it was something else about the guy that had caused his finger to pause over the screen. In the end he at least decided to leave a quick reply stating that he just wasn’t interested in guys like that, at least be nice about turning him down since no one else had ever been nice to him. It was just a quick couple of sentences anyway, he thought to himself. What could possibly go wrong?


	2. Begin Again

“Am I really about to do this?” Panda mumbled to himself as he made his way down 56th Street, the cacophony of the busy city drowning out his voice. All around him, the metropolis buzzed with life. Hive-minded men and women in business attire marching almost in sync to their corporate day jobs, young urbanites in social conscious clothing jostling their way towards the ever expanding art district, obvious tourists with overwhelmed facial expressions as they try to reach every attraction they can, all just a small blend of the mixed cocktail that is San Francisco.

Even though he had lived in the city for years, the somewhat introverted panda still hadn’t fully built an immunity to crowds just yet. It had gotten a lot better since when he was little. One of his earliest memories was back when he and his brothers were still little orphaned cubs living in a box. Their general cuteness hadn’t worked its charm that day in securing them enough food, and after some heated deliberation they agreed to try and forge in the Golden Gate Park.

It was only a week after the first day of fall. The leaves on the trees dotting the sidewalks were already beginning to change colors and a settling chill threatened to penetrate the cozy fur shields of the three cubs. Pretty soon, blankets would need to become a priority just as much as food. Even if the winters weren’t that terrible in San Francisco, they were still too young to be left out in the cold.

“Alright guys, so here’s what I’m thinking,” Grizz began with a multitude of hand waving, once again slipping into his assumed role as the de facto leader of the trio, “the best thing to do would be to check the recycling cans at all the entrance gates so we can scope out the-.” The grizzly bear was so wrapped up in his planning that he never noticed one of the other cub’s ears suddenly perk up.

“Ice Bear hears noises getting louder,” the little white bear cut in to no avail as Grizz continued to drone on about his plans. Panda slowed down a bit as he was beginning to hear it too.

“Uh, Grizz?” Panda mumbled in an effort to grab his still monologuing brother’s attention, though the attempt fell on deaf ears.

“So then if we take a diaper and attach it to the end of a stick with some string we would be able to-.”

“Grizz…”

“-which we can take and use to carve out a few water bottles into some pointy shapes in preparation of a defense in case of any possible raccoon or dog ambush-.”

“GRIZZ!” Panda finally shouted out to the best of his ability. Even with the raise in volume, though, it came out as little more than a squeak. However, the timid panda relaxed a little as it finally seemed to have gotten the job done.

“Huh? Wha- what’s going on?” Grizz twisted his head around wildly, trying to find what could cause his brother to have such an uncharacteristic outburst. Panda grabbed his brother’s paw to get him to focus and, with his other paw, pointed in the direction of the park.

“I-it looks like there’s some kind of party going on over there,” Panda said, his voice getting quieter as the crowd in the park suddenly erupted into a roar of applause.

“Woah…” Grizz’s eyes grew wide as he took in the site of all the people, music, and decorations. Grizz couldn’t help but smile wide as an excited laugh started to escape his lips, “I’m not sure what’s going on over there or what they’re celebrating for, but whatever it is it looks awesome!” Suddenly, Ice Bear appeared from behind them as if by magic, holding a sheet of paper. Panda gave a small yelp at his sudden reappearance. He knew Ice Bear had a knack for being stealthy, but it still didn’t make Panda anymore prepared for when he decided to employ his skills.

“Ice Bear found this over at the telephone pole,” he said before the flier was hastily ripped from his paws by Grizz.

Grizz squinted his eyes and began studying the brightly colored advertisement intensely. Because they had been orphaned at such a young age, he and his brothers had never really gotten the opportunity to receive any type of schooling from their parents. All three knew the importance of education, even if it wasn’t much. Physical labor can only open so many doors after all. It was with this understanding that Grizz snuck into one of the city’s public libraries and stole one of their audio cassette sets. It came with a cassette player, two cassette tapes, and two books intended to help teach young children, or in this case bears, how to read. It certainly wasn’t Grizz’s proudest moment, but it was a moment that would hopefully provide him and his brother’s with a better future. Right now, that moment was helping them procure some food.

“T-to celebrate… back to school and the begi-beginning of fall… come to the Golden Gate Park for a night of free music… games… and food…” Grizz’s eyes went wide and nearly sparkled with happiness, an almost contagious smile sprawled across his face, “and food!” He wrapped his brother’s in a hug and couldn’t help but laugh. “See! I told you guys this was a great idea,” Grizz said with a hint of smugness.

“Ice Bear could go for some festival food,” Ice Bear pondered out loud, unfazed at suddenly being swept up in Grizz’s hug.

“I don’t know guys,” Panda tried to protest, “I mean we’re not even in school or anything”  
“Oh come on Pan-pan, it’s free food, good food! How can we just pass that up?” Grizz asked, evident that his mind was already made up on what his plan of action would be.

“Well I mean, it’s just that…” Panda attempted a retort but it was already too late. Grizz had already gleefully made a mad dash into the throng of partygoers that nearly spilled out of the park with Ice Bear trailing behind him. “Grizz wait!” Panda tried to yell. Knowing there was no way that Grizz had heard him; he made his own attempt to traverse through the festival hoping he would be able to find them.

Panda kept frantically trying to call out for Grizz, but between the music and the noise of the crowd, he couldn’t even hear himself. The sheer presence of the gathering itself was absolutely deafening. Panda had never seen so many people all together at once, and it overwhelmed him. He tried once more to call out for Grizz but found that no sound was coming out. Whichever way he turned he saw nothing but the shifting legs of people dancing to the music and faces of nobody he recognized. His heart was beating faster and his breathing came in short, rapid bursts as if he couldn’t keep the air in. What if he never saw Grizz or Ice Bear again? What if they had already left and had completely forgotten about him? His head started to pound with the beat of the music and tears started welling at the corners of his eyes. Next thing Panda knew, he was huddled on the ground sobbing as people cheered on and sang around him. It was as if he was invisible.

Suddenly, he felt a warm paw on his shoulder. Panda sniffled and wiped his eyes to rid himself of the blurry vision that his tears had produced. Looking back at him was the worried face of both Grizz and Ice Bear. They both grabbed one of Panda’s paws each and helped guide him away from the concert crowd and over to a more secluded spot near the food vendors. Ice Bear gave Panda a reassuring pat and without a word made his way toward the snack carts.

“Dude, what happened back there? I thought you were right behind me with Ice Bear, and then out of nowhere you were gone,” Grizz asked with a hint of remorse. Panda sniffled once more as he felt a fresh wave of tears burning at his eyes, threatening to leak out.

“You guys just ran off and left me alone,” Panda whimpered, wiping at his nose before continuing, “I’ve never been so scared before. I didn’t know what was going on. My chest tightened and it felt like I couldn’t breathe. I know I’ve always been weird around a lot of people, but I never thought it was that bad…” Panda’s voice dropped to a near whisper as he finally felt the tears ebbing back.

“Panda I’m so, so sorry for doing that to you. I’m supposed to be the one protecting you, and yet I’ve just made this an absolutely terrible night for you,” Grizz said in a hushed tone. He sat down next to his black and white brother and wrapped him in another hug. “Say, have you ever heard of the ‘Who Am I?’ game?” Grizz asked as he attempted to try and put on a cheerier voice.  
“No, what’s that?” Panda replied to his brother, curious at where he was going with this.  
“It’s a game I learned about in a book during my reading practice. Whenever you get scared by a stranger, just try and imagine who they are. Their name, their job, where they like to go to eat, any detail you can think of. Once you’ve thought of a life for than them, then they’re no longer a stranger. They’re someone you know in your head. You can go from being surrounded by nobodies, to being around a group of friends you know. That’s not so scary, is it?” Grizz finished, his smile getting bigger as he could see his little brother feeling better.

“No, I guess it isn’t… Thanks a lot Grizz, you really are a great brother,” Panda said as his smile grew almost as big as Grizz’s. They heard rustling from behind them as Ice Bear reappeared with food in his paws.

“Ice Bear brought you back this and hopes you feel better,” Ice Bear said as he handed Panda a caramel apple from one of the stands. Panda looked at it and then looked to both of his brothers who he knew cared for him more than anything else in the world. It nearly brought back the tears.

“You guys are the absolute best.” Panda said before taking a bite of the apple.

* * *

Panda reached the door of the restaurant but felt a sense of regret settling over him. What was he even doing here? This is crazy! He had sent the guy a reply telling him that he just wasn’t interested, but somehow that snowballed into a conversation of meeting at a restaurant. Panda had felt a knot in his stomach throughout the entire ordeal, and even though everything in him screamed not to, he had agreed to it. He didn’t even know why. He wasn’t into guys, at least as far as he knew. Granted, he had never really given it any thought, but since he had never noticed any guys in that way before he felt he didn’t even really have to. I mean at the end of the day, the guy had understood what Panda was saying about his disinterest and didn’t really try to push it; he simply asked to hang out. Who knew, ‘maybe they would become friends’ he had said.

“Pffft, like that’ll happen,” Panda mumbled to himself. On some level, Panda did want to try and branch out and make more friends. Sure he loved Ice Bear and Grizz, and Chloe was really nice too, but he wanted to try and maybe have his own friend, not one shared between the three. He had tried before, but like with his attempts at girlfriends his social awkwardness just ended up getting the better of him. Why would this be any different?

His nerves were already starting to work their way into his thoughts, and when he saw his phone and realized that the guy was already ten minutes late, he was ready to call it quits. Panda was already beginning to text the guy some sort of snarky message when a voice caught him off guard from behind.

“Uh, hey Panda, it’s Alex. I’m really sorry I’m late. My bike had a flat and I ended up having to get here on foot. Not the greatest first impression, I know, but it’s um, really nice to meet you,” said a man whom Panda had only seen in a few online photos. His name was Alex Hayes, and even Panda had to admit he was pretty attractive. He was only an inch or two shorter than Panda with blue-gray eyes and short, dirty blonde hair that gave off the appearance of a groomed bed head. Some scruff accented the outline of his chin and jawline. He had an averagely decent body, and Panda could tell by his arms that he wasn’t a stranger to visiting a gym every so often. He slyly snuck a quick a look at his own bearish body and couldn’t help but feel a little insecure. He reached a paw out to meet Alex’s hand and shook it, growing a little more nervous when he noticed how warm it was.

“Hey, yeah, it’s nice to meet you too…” Panda simply trailed off. It had been a long while since he had met anyone without his brothers around, and it was usually Grizz that ended up being the one to carry the conversation for the three. However, this was Panda’s turn to try and take things down his own path. “Really sorry to hear about your bike, though. At least you’re pretty nice- I mean it’s pretty nice, the weather I mean, you know for a run and stuff, haha…” Panda awkwardly stated, feeling the heat rise in his face.

‘Damn it, what the hell was that??’ he thought to himself. Was he really about to comment on his looks like that out loud? ‘That settles it,’ he thought to himself once more, ‘I really do need to get a girlfriend.’

“So you, uh, ready to go inside?” Panda asked as he turned around to the restaurant.

“Yeah! Definitely, I’ve gotten even hungrier thanks to the trip here, and the food here is pretty fantastic, not to brag or anything,” Alex replied back. He made his way to the door and opened the door for Panda to go through.

“Oh, thanks. I don’t think I’ve eaten here before but I’ll take your word for it,” Panda gave a small smile as he entered the through the restaurant door. ‘Not to brag? What did he mean by that?’ Panda wondered to himself. Unfortunately, he didn’t have much time to think about that as something more pressing was about to grab hold of his attention.

Panda made his way up to the seating stand and waited for the host to look up from his papers before speaking. After a minute, Panda finally gave a nervous cough that got the well-dressed man’s attention.

“Yes, welcome to Le Expen-,” the waiter suddenly stopped mid speech as recognition dawned on his face. Suddenly, his face contorted into a sour look that made the hair on the back of Panda’ neck stand up. “Oh I’m sorry sir, I think you’ll be needing to find a different restaurant this afternoon. It seems that all of our ‘dining underneath the table’ options are booked for the day,” the waiter quipped while continuing his glare.

“Underneath the table? What are talking abou-?” suddenly the realization of what he meant and where he was hit Panda like a rush of cold water. His eyes grew wide and he could do nothing but stutter. He felt a hand lightly tap his forearm, causing him to jump a little as he remembered that he wasn’t the only one hoping to dine there. Alex walked out from behind him, causing the waiter to give his own slight jump when he saw him. Quickly, the waiter’s facial expression turned from one of distaste to worry.

“Jacques, what’s going on? Are you really talking to a customer like that?” Alex asked the waiter, edging closer to the stand while the other one seemed to shrink away from it.

“N-no of course not, haha. It’s a little joke he and I have going on together, just kidding around!” the waiter said back, obviously nervous.

“I-I don’t think I’ve ever talked to you befo-,” Panda tried to mumble before the waiter rudely butted back in.

“So that’s a table for one correct? Well, right this way and I’ll show you to your-,”  
“Uh actually you’re going to want to make that a table for two. We’re here together,” Alex chimed in, something in his voice giving away that he was still a bit upset at how the waiter had addressed Panda.

“Haha, jus- just you know, as friends, haha,” Panda added in with a bit of nervousness.

“R-right a table for two,” Jacques replied as he reached to grab a second set of menus. “Right this way please gentleman.” Alex gave him a look as if to say sorry and lead the way to the table where they were both seated. Once Jacques had left, Alex leaned in closer so Panda could hear him while still keeping quiet.

“I’m so, so sorry about all of that. I have no idea what the hell his damage is. What was that even about? Something about eating under a table?” Alex asked. He raised an eyebrow in confusion as his question elicited a groan from his tablemate.

“Ugh, I was hoping I could go long enough without you learning how weird I was,” Panda mumbled before continuing, “don’t blame me if you want to just get up and leave after hearing about me.”

“Oh, please. Whatever story you have behind that nonsense can’t possibly be anything worse than something I’ve done in my lifetime. We’ve all had quirky mishaps and funny memories. You just got to learn to roll with him, you’ll get more enjoyment out of life that way,” Alex shot back with a smirk. His remarks somewhat filled Panda with a sense of ease and he offered a smile back.

“Alright, fine I’ll tell you. I met this girl at a farmer’s market after she saved me from an allergic reaction to nuts in some cookies I had. After that, I kinda developed some feelings for her. Well she hung out with me and my brothers for a while before asking us if we wanted to meet her at a restaurant. Well, I sorta set it up so where it would just be me and her at the restaurant so I could try and kinda turn it into a date. Unfortunately the whole thing kind of backfired as my brothers eventually showed up. I panicked a little and I hid with her under the table so they wouldn’t see us. From there I accidentally ate her food before everything went black,” Panda finished with a tone of embarrassment in his voice.

“Everything went black?? What do you mean? And I thought you said you’d never eaten here before?” Alex asked with some concern.

“Well it turns out that her plate had nuts on it and it sent me into another allergic reaction,” Panda shrugged. “Two allergic reactions that close together earned me a black out trip to the hospital. At that point I couldn’t really taste anything so you might as well say I’ve never really eaten here,” he finished. Alex tried to reply but could only give a twisted smile in response as he tried to keep himself from laughing. “Come on, are you trying not to laugh?” Panda asked, starting to chuckle himself, “that was a really embarrassing story.”

“Oh no, I know, trust me it was,” Alex replied, finally letting out a laugh, “I just can’t really believe that was you. My parents had told me about a customer being wheeled away from under a table, but I never would have pieced it together that it would have been you.”

“Wait, your parents? Were they eating at the restaurant when that happened? Ugh that’s gonna make it so awkward if I ever see them…” Panda moaned.

“Well, I guess you could say that they were here when that all went down,” Alex said, trying to figure out how to phrase it. “They weren’t eating at the restaurant so much as running it though.”  
“Running it? What? Your family owns this place?” Panda asked a little incredulously. The comment about not wanting to brag suddenly made more sense.

“Yeah,” Alex said as he nervously rested one of his hands on the back of his head. “We actually moved here solely to start it up. We had a restaurant back where we used to live that did pretty well but my parents wanted to branch out, expand, so we packed up and moved down here about ten years ago. This is actually their second restaurant here. The first one was merely a start up to try and get their name out to the public and the city’s dining scene. You could say this was really their dream one,” he finished with some excitement. “I work here from time to time to get some experience while going to college. It’s actually there where I first saw you.”

“What do you mean? I’ve only really been to the college around here once and that was to-,” whoosh, another bucket of ice water washed over Panda. “Wait! I remember you now! Y-you were the first one to ask me a question at Chloe’s presentation that we, uh, kinda screwed up…”

“Honestly, I thought the whole thing was really cute. You were only trying to help her out, and when you realized your mistakes, you stepped in and tried to make it right again. It was those actions that made me start paying attention to you. Beyond, you know hijacking my college class and all,” Alex finished.

“I mean, I guess, but my brothers were also in on all of that. Why focus on me?” Panda asked.

“I noticed that your sections of the project dealt with how it was ok to have emotions and things like that. I can’t help but have a soft spot for guys that aren’t afraid to be a little sensitive,” Alex quipped.

“Right, but I don’t have a soft spot for guys at all. Why even attempt a connection with me when you knew that from my profile?” Panda questioned.

“Ever since I was little, I was raised to always just ‘go for it’. If you have a hope, a gut feeling, a wish, go for it. They’re not all going to work out, but at least you can say you’ve attempted and that’s what’s most important. Something about you just connected. I figured what could hurt in at least trying?” Alex finished with another smile. Panda couldn’t help but feel himself blush a little, thankful that it wasn’t noticeable due to his fur.

“I mean, honestly I can’t really argue with that kind of logic. In some ways I kind of wish I had that fortitude. I’ve always been more of the hesitant one out of my brothers. Honestly, this was one of the first things I’ve just went for on my own in a long time,” Panda finished.

Alex’s smile grew bigger, “Well I’m really glad you decided to take that step on me. Like I said to you before I totally understand that you’re not into guys. I have absolutely no plans to pressure you into anything. This is just a friendship, at least I hope you’re wanting to be friends.”

“Yeah!” Panda said a little more excitedly than he had expected before clearing his throat. “I think you’re a really nice guy and I’ve had a lot of fun talking to you. We definitely should hang out again.”

“Glad to hear that, Panda,” Alex said with a small laugh. Suddenly, the two were greeted by a new presence.

“Good afternoon, sir, Mr. Hayes, are you two ready to order?” a waitress asked with an enthusiastic smile, paper and pen clutched in hand.

“Oh gosh,” Alex laughed, “we were so wrapped up in talking that we didn’t even think about what we wanted.”

Panda and Alex took the next few minutes to look over their menu and place their orders. They talked about life in general, hopes and wants and dreams, until their food finally arrived. Panda had to admit that the food was really fantastic, now that it had no nuts in it. The two laughed and talked more throughout their meal, and of course the whole thing was free of charge due to who he was dining with.

“Maybe wanna hang out again sometime next weekend?” Alex asked as the two stepped out of the restaurant and back onto the busy city sidewalk.  
“Yeah, I would love that,” Panda replied. “I’ll text you when I get home and we can try and set something up if that’s ok.”

“Sounds great, I’ll be looking forward to it,” Alex finished. With a wave he dismissed himself and began jogging back in what Panda assumed was the direction of his house. Panda himself was starting the walk back to his own place when suddenly he came face to face with a brown body of fur as he turned the corner.

“Hey, Pan-pan, what are you doing here?” Grizz asked with as much enthusiasm as he possibly could. Panda was in a bit of shock at suddenly running into his brothers, worried that they may have possibly seen that he was with someone.

“Oh, just walking around and stuff, haha, thinking about heading back to the den,” Panda nervously replied, hoping that that would be the extent of the questioning.

“Oh, cool, Ice Bear and I were heading to the market to pick up groceries for tonight. Wanna come?” Grizz questioned.

“Ice Bear could use more paws to help carry stuff,” Ice Bear thought aloud.

“Uh, yeah totally I’ll come. I could use the exercise,” Panda mumbled to the other two.

“Great!” Grizz cried, glad to have all three of them there, “come on, let’s go. It’s not that much farther away.”

Panda gave a sigh of a relief as his brothers continued to walk on past him. For right now his meet up with Alex could still be his own knowledge. He wanted to keep it that way for at least a little bit longer. He turned around and hurried to try to catch up to his siblings, in some ways a little bit happy to see some familiar faces.


	3. Don't Stop

We Bare Us

Chapter 2

“I hate to be the bear-,” Alex paused and turned to Panda with the look of a teasing five year old in hopes of softening the blow, “-er of bad news, but I’m gonna be out of commission for the next few weeks.”

Panda felt a twinge of sadness run through him as the idea of that swam around in his head. He and Alex had been friends for about a month and a half now, but in all honesty, it had felt like much longer. Panda wasn’t sure what it was, but talking to Alex just came so naturally to him. Granted, it helped a bit that they had a few pretty big common interests to gush over in hours long conversations. Anime being one of them, which came as a bit of a shock to Panda given the image of the other anime fans he had met before who unfortunately more often than not fit a certain stereotype both physically and personality wise, and he also seemed to be a bit of a tech geek too though not quite at the same level as the big black and white bear. Maybe Panda was just getting to the age where interaction over time simply came more naturally for him. Whatever it was, it made this sudden news that much harder to swallow. Unfortunately for Panda, he wasn’t exactly the best at being able to hide his emotions.

Even though Alex’s senior year at university had started just a couple short weeks after their first meeting at his family’s restaurant, he had always managed to make time for the two of them to hang out. Whether it was going grocery shopping on Alex’s family’s behalf, or just hanging out at a lake outside of town like they were currently doing, they had a record of seeing each other at least twice a week, and with how high strung his brothers (well at least one of them) could be, this was much needed relaxation time.

Panda picked up a stone from the bank and rolled it around in his paws as if he needed a physical representation to match what was going on in his head. He finally rested it in the palm of his right paw and with a small grunt, tossed it towards the pond’s cold surface. It managed to make three skips, a new personal record for Panda, before unceremoniously sinking to the water’s depths. Panda let out a sigh and turned towards Alex who offered a small smile in return.

“It’s not because of me or anything is it? I haven’t become overbearing, have I…?” Panda asked a bit hesitantly, afraid of the possible answer. Forming friendships outside of his brothers was still something new to him, especially since he didn’t have their support or ability to take over when he didn’t know what to say or do. It also didn’t help that his previous failed attempts at establishing a connection dealt a pretty big blow to his self-esteem. Granted those past attempts were in the pursuit of relationships and that was off the table with Alex, but even still, being told constantly that one was needy and unbearably clingy would cause anyone to become self-conscious in that regard. It caused Panda to constantly question whether he was being seen as bothersome or annoying, something he was hoping he was getting better at since things with Alex were going really well.

“No Sneezy, I promise you that you’re fine,” Alex replied as he picked up his own stone and tossed it. The stone glided across the water and plunged with an audible kerplunk, four skips. Panda couldn’t help but grumble under his breath at being one upped.

“I told you not to call me that,” Panda retorted, crossing his arms and displaying an over-exaggerated pout. “It’s bad enough when Grizz brings it up.” Alex laughed and gave a playful punch to Panda’s arm who reacted with a small ow.

“Can you honestly blame me?” Alex asked, his smile growing wider. “I got to watch you compete with Nom Nom and give possibly one of the most awkward television interviews I’ve ever seen. I mean, even you have to admit that you were pretty-.”

“DON’T SAY IT!” Panda shouted, covering his ears in anticipation of the impending bomb shell.

“-cute,” Alex finished with a laugh. Panda let out a loud groan and doubled over as if the word had suddenly taken physical form and struck him. “I still don’t understand why you have such an aversion to that word. You know in most cases it’s a compliment, right?”

“Look I know it seems irrational but I just find the word to be a bit patronizing, you know? It’s like the word you use on someone that’s only good enough to be a friend.”

“You say that like friendship is a burden if it can’t go anywhere further,” Alex jokingly quipped back. “You seem to orbit a lot of your thoughts around the idea of relationships.”

Panda sighed a bit, “What can I say? I’m a hopeless romantic is all. I mean, not to whine, but both of my brothers have had girlfriends and I’ve yet to have one. I mean, I know that a relationship isn’t the end all be all of existence, but it just kinda sucks when everyone you know has had those moments but you. I doubt you’ve had any shortage of opportunities given how you are.”

Alex found a nearby spot on the grass and sat down. “And how exactly am I?” he asked.  
“Well…” Panda started before trailing off, wondering if he was perhaps treading into territory he didn’t mean to. Choosing his words carefully he continued, “Well you are attractive, you’re funny, you’ve been a really nice person to me and you’ve been someone I could really connect to, more easily than anyone else besides my brothers. I can’t really imagine that many guys turning you down. You’re a total catch.”

Alex offered a smile and with huff fell onto his back so he could look up at the sky. After a few moments of silence, Panda awkwardly walked over and laid down next to him. Alex cleared his throat and turned his head to look over at Panda. He opened his mouth to say something, thought for a moment, and then turned his head back skyward before finally saying something.

“Well, thanks Panda, it honestly really means a lot to hear you say all that, but I’m not exactly this crazy experienced dater you think I am. I mean not to sound cocky, but sure I’ve had my fair share of people asking me out. That doesn’t mean it really went anywhere beyond that though. In all honesty I’ve only really dated two guys. In a sense I’m like you, a self-described hopeless romantic. Knights in shining armor, fairy tale endings, flashes and sparks that seem to only come from that special person, I kinda buy into a lot of that stuff. One prerequisite I have to dating is I have to feel something unique from that person that doesn’t just come from anyone. I just haven’t really felt that from a lot of people. It’s sorta why I tried so hard to get you to meet me in person… but trust me when I say you will find that lucky girl. I like to believe there’s someone out there for everyone, you’ve just gotta wait till you find each other.”

None of this was anything Panda hadn’t heard before, but for some reason it just seemed more reassuring coming from Alex. He placed a paw on Alex’s shoulder and gave him a smile.  
“Thanks for always being there to cheer me up.”

“No problem,” Alex smiled back, “I know how important it is to be able to vent some of that stuff out. I’ll always be here if you need someone to talk to, it’s what friends are for.”  
“Same to you too,” Panda said as he let his eyes drift upwards towards the clouds above him. Suddenly, he shot up to a sitting position and looked over at Alex. “Oh, hey, you never told me earlier. What are you gonna be away for?”

“Oh yeah, that,” Alex sighed as he propped himself up on one of his elbows. “I’ve got one of my big senior projects due in reactor design a few weeks from now. It’s majorly important that I get a really good grade on this, and the time and effort I need to invest in it is probably gonna keep me completely from the outside world until it’s finished. I’m sorry to just drop it on you like that, but I’ve just been having so much fun with you that I didn’t really want to bring it up.”

“Well, I mean I completely understand for something like that. School should be your number one priority. I’m still gonna be here when you get finished, and if you ever need a study break you know where to find me.” Panda laughed a bit and gave Alex’s arm a playful tap, returning the favor from earlier.

“Thanks Pan-Pan, I’ll probably need all the emotional support I can get for this. It’s kinda scary to think that this is one of my last few hurdles before graduating, and then before I know it I’ll be thrust into the real world, but at least I’ll be doing something I love so that makes it all the worthwhile, you know?”

Panda was about to speak, but something kept him from responding right away. Something in the back of his mind began gnawing at him right as Alex asked that question. He wasn’t completely sure why, but for now he’d just rather ignore it.

“Yeah, I know.”  
___________________________________________________________________________

Panda sat on his bed with a blank face as he stared at the computer in his lap. He had pulled up a video of a ‘let’s play’ for a video game that had just recently been released, but he wasn’t even really paying attention. It was simply background noise, something to give his room some semblance of life that only just registered on the outer edge of his consciousness while much deeper thoughts swam around below the surface. Something about his last conversation last week with Alex really struck him in a different way than he’d ever really thought about before. He knew by now it was something he should have already gotten over, but when he least expected it those feelings rushed back and swarmed him like an angry hive of bees. If he was being honest with himself, then, no, he didn’t really know what Alex was talking about. Sure, from a general sense he could agree with what was being stated, but as for personal understanding, Panda had none.

He hadn’t really done anything worthwhile with his life, as least as far as what he considered worthwhile. Sure he had crazy experiences with his brothers, but where was that getting him in the sense of progressing his life? What was he doing to pull his weight around the cave? Out of both of his brothers, he was the only one that didn’t have a job. Ice Bear had recently been hired as a part time cook for a local Russian place that had opened up on 24th Street, and Grizz, though he didn’t really have any specialized skills, at least picked up jobs whenever he could. Now here Alex was discussing how he was arriving that much closer to a dream occupation while Panda sat around doing, what? Youtube videos? Karaoke? Tech blogs?

It wasn’t that Panda didn’t want to work; it was just that he never thought of anything that he really felt like he could call his own. Ice Bear had always been passionate about cooking, so it was a no brainer that he’d seek out something related to that, and Grizz was just happy wherever there was people to talk to, but what was something that he could really be invested in? A job with technology always seemed like an obvious answer, but with how much technology had become integrated into everyone’s daily lives and with the many different ways it could be utilized, he felt merely overwhelmed with how many choices there were. Even then, jobs like that would require more educational background than he currently had, and his two brothers weren’t exactly going to be able to help him in that department.

Panda was just about to Google free local classes when suddenly a knock came at his door. Without warning, an energetic brown bear burst through the doorway with a quieter polar bear not much farther behind him. With a yelp of surprise, Panda quickly shut his laptop and looked over at his brothers with a look of slight of annoyance.

“You know knocking is a thing, right?” he asked in Grizz’s direction.  
“Hehe, sorry, you’re right. You know how I can get excited sometimes is all… Anyway! Ice Bear and I were about to take a trip to the new ice skating rink that just opened up and get a little exercise. Ice Bear’s been clamoring to get out more now that the weather’s getting to a much cooler temperature. Finally starting to feel like he can leave the fridge for the year,” Grizz finished.

“Ice Bear is ready to strut his stuff out on the ice floor.”

Panda thought about it before a minute and decided this was probably something he needed. Sitting in a room alone wasn’t exactly going to send his thoughts in a more positive direction. Besides, part of him wanted to get out too. The fall was his favorite time of the year and he was hoping on the way back they would stop at his favorite café.

“Yeah, I’d totally love to go. Just give me a few seconds to get ready and I’ll meet you guys outside.”

______________________________________________________________________________

The bear-stack weaved itself throughout the busy city streets as well as it could on its way to downtown San Francisco. The sidewalks were a little more occupied than usual as families were taking advantage of their children being on fall break. New venues were opening up with fall themed activities and stores were swapping out the last of their summer catalogue for clothing lines that were a bit warmer in design. There was a certain buzz to the atmosphere as people were excitedly gearing up for the coming holidays. Sure some stores were getting a little ahead of the game with some storefront display windows already featuring snowflakes and presents, but in a sense it only added to the excitement of things to come, especially for the little kids pulling at their parents hands to guide them towards new sights.

The bears had to do a little more apologizing on this trip than usual as accidental bump ins were happening every so often, but for the most part Ice Bear was doing pretty well given the crowds. They’d probably have to deal with longer lines at the ice skating rink, but for the most part none of the three bears minded. Today was simply a day for them to hang out and spend time together; a little more time waiting wasn’t going to ruin that.

Panda couldn’t help but let the merriment around him affect him as well, even with his earlier thoughts still nestled somewhere deep in the back of his mind. Truth be told, fall was his favorite time of the year. The cold weather ushered in a new era of all things different. The sweater weather began in full around this time, and it was usually a tradition of Panda’s to find a new one every year, even if last year’s was perfectly fine. He viewed it as a way to mark the passing of years, something that not only thrilled him, but terrified him too. Plus, he couldn’t help but feel a bit happier when wrapped in something so warm. Sweaters just had a way of making everyone look nicer, kinder, and he couldn’t help but find himself a bit more stylistically charming in them himself.

Beyond that, the fall also brought along with it seasonal treats that in his mind perfectly encapsulated what made this time of year so great. The weather created a need to keep oneself warm as the temperatures gradually became cooler, and what better way to do such a thing than with a bonfire? Of course, a bonfire was a way for the three brothers to unwind and spend time together. They usually set aside a few separate days during the fall where they get the majority of their winter shopping done. Afterwards, they get a nice fire going and even set out a tent for all three of them to camp in. It had become one of their first yearly traditions after moving into the cave. Of course, Panda did enjoy the fun of the whole experience, but more than anything he found it as an excuse to completely revel in uninhibited smores making. It was also around this time that Ice Bear indulged in chili making, always attempting to one up himself every year, and he also happened to dabble in pie making, much to Panda’s happiness. The pinnacle of the food festivities, however, was all the new drinks that became staples in the cafes all around the city. Panda was a sucker for all things cider, and it was the café on 45th Street that in his opinion made the best spiced pumpkin apple cider anywhere. He was hoping that once their ice skating activities were finished that they could swing by and get some.

“Alright guys, we’re here,” Panda said as the blue dot of his phone’s GPS app synced up with the target of their current destination. Dismantling their bear-stack, the trio found themselves in front of the refurbished and repainted entrance of what used to be a roller rink. Unfortunately, the owner was unable to handle its upkeep and finances in his later years and was eventually forced to sell it. Eventually, it was bought out and changed into something a little more unconventional in hopes of attracting customers year round. As it was their first day of business, the newly opened ice rink had been advertising a deal of two free hours of skating for the first three days.

“This is gonna be so much fun!” Grizz said with as much exuberance as he could possibly give. He turned with a huge grin across his face to Ice Bear who was simply staring at the rink’s door. A cutout display of another polar bear surrounded by penguins stared back at him, its mouth open with a cartoonish speech bubble jutting out with a welcoming message for the entering patrons.

“Ice Bear feels welcomed,” he dead panned as he was the first to make his way inside. The building inside was already alive with the sound of crunching ice and the fervent, energetic talk of those happily enjoying the city’s new attraction. The three bears made their way to the skate rental section and settled themselves into what was surely going to be at least a thirty minute line. Panda thought now would be as good a time as ever to bring up his earlier idea.

“Hey Grizz, would it be alright if after this we head over to Augustine’s Café on 45th street? They’re finally carrying that cider again that I love so much and figured it would be a nice little cap off to the day.”

“Yeah that sounds like a great idea Pan-Pan,” Grizz replied. “To be honest, I could go for one of their hot chocolates myself, especially after this.

“Ice Bear would also like a black coffee.”

“Yeesh, I still don’t know how you handle that stuff. I mean, I loved coffee but there at least has to be some level sugar and milk to it,” Panda stated with a bit of a shudder, the memory of his first plain coffee try vividly echoing itself on his taste buds.

“Ice Bear likes the rush,” he replied matter of factly.

“Alright so it’s decided then,”Grizz said, jumping back into the conversation with glee. “We’ll enjoy our time ice skating and then we’ll go to Augustine’s. Anywhere else you guys wanna go while we’re out?”

“Ice Bear is fine”

“Yeah after all that I probably wouldn’t mind just heading home myself and relaxing for the rest of the day. I heard they added some new shows to Netflix. We could probably make some popcorn and find something to binge if that’s ok with you,” Panda suggested.

“Sounds great to me little bro,” Grizz said, reaching up a paw to playfully ruffle Panda’s head fur. “If anything I’m surprised to see you suggest heading home so soon.”

“What do you mean by that?” Panda asked with a slight tinge of natural hesitation.

“Well, up until this past week you’ve been gone a lot more than usual. I mean I know sometimes in the evening you like to go out for walks and just have ‘Panda time’, but Ice Bear told me that he’s seen you wandering around the city quite a bit lately during the middle of the day by yourself.”

Panda felt something in his stomach drop as he turned his gaze towards Ice Bear.

“How?” Panda asked, trying to appear calmer than he felt. “I thought you had a job at some restaurant on 24th Street.”

“37th,” Ice Bear replied.

Panda inwardly groaned. He took that street whenever he went to go visit Alex at his place. Ath this point he merely thanked his lucky stars that they never went back that way together.

“I think it’s kinda nice that you’ve got your own thing going while we’re at work,” Grizz interjected. He gave a quiet bit of nervous laughter before continuing. “I actually kinda threw out the idea to I.B. that maybe we should pretend to go into work and tag along behind you one day to see where you go but he sorta quickly shut that down.”

“Ice Bear understands that’s a bit much, wouldn’t want the same.”

Panda suddenly felt a paw on his shoulder and turned to his brother, Grizz who was giving him a look of kid like curiosity.

“So what exactly are you getting up to Pan-Pan? Not doing anything too crazy are ya?” Grizz asked with a hint of teasing. Panda suddenly felt as if someone was practicing shoe tying with his stomach, and a cold sweat rushed over him as his thought process went into overdrive and crashed. ‘Crap, crap, crap, what do I do? What do I say?’ Panda’s mind screamed out as Grizz continued to stand there waiting for a response. ‘I can’t tell them about any of this. Not here, not now. God, who knows what they’ll think, and I know Grizz isn’t gonna want to leave the subject alone. He’ll probably even want to meet him…’

“Well, uh, I… you see the thing is that… um,” Panda tried to find a foothold with his wording but was failing miserably. He cleared his throat nervously and was about to blurt out whatever convenient lie could first come into his head when a chipper voice from behind caused him to momentarily freeze.

“Hi, and welcome to the Wicker Park ice skating rink, gentleman,” an enthusiastic woman in pronounced winter clothes introduced from behind the building’s main counter. “What can I do for you three?”

Panda felt a whoosh of air as his brown brother shot past him and placed himself as close as he could to the counter.

“Hi, yes, we are here for the opening day promotion? The two free hours of ice skating?” Grizz informed the attendant with his ‘business voice’. Panda inwardly breathed a sigh of relief now that the attention would be off of him, at least for now. In the meantime, he figured that coming up with a halfway believable story as a way to deflect anymore unwanted questions would probably be his best course of action.

“Of course,” Jessica, at least according to her nametag, started in what was surely a rehearsed dialogue that she had already given a thousand times that day, “I’ll just need the name of someone in your party. “ She slid over a clipboard and pen to Grizz who quickly scanned the document and signed it in several places near the bottom.

“Of course, no problem!” Grizz spoke aloud as he finished filling in the last blank line. “Is there anything else you need?”

“Yes, just a few more papers and then you all can enjoy San Francisco’s newest and finest ice skating rink. It’s nothing serious, I’ll just need each of you to sign a waiver form. Standard procedures for things like this,” she finished. She took the clipboard from Grizz and produced three more from somewhere below the counter top. She passed out one to each of them along with two more pens for both Panda and Ice Bear. The three quickly signed their names and handed them back to the clerk. By now, Panda was starting to regain his excitement. It had been a long time since he had done something like this and he was eager to put his attention to something more fun and light hearted.

“Alright, thank you very much, gentleman. These are your buzzers. They’ll alert you to when you’ve reached your two hours. After that it’ll be twelve dollars each to continue, but that gives you access until closing.” She handed each of them a small rectangular bar that momentarily blinked. Panda motioned his hand to his brothers who promptly handed over their timers to him. He quietly placed them in his fanny pack as the clerk continued with her speech. “The ice skate fittings are over their along the far wall right before entering the rink. Just simply try on pairs until you find one that fits just right. Don’t be afraid to call over an attendant if any of you need help with anything. Most importantly, though, don’t forget to have fun,” she finished with a head nod and seemingly genuine smile.

The three bears thanked her and began making their way over to the fitting lounge. Unsurprisingly, the skating booth had become somewhat of a mess due to the amount of people that had come before them and simply laid unfitting pairs of skates haphazardly all across the floor. Thankfully, the trio didn’t have to waste their time wading through the skates that littered the area in hopes of finding a pair. The only ones that would fit them had been left untouched in their proper slots as no one before could even come close to wearing them. They quickly located their pairs, and after a few mishaps in lace tying made their way out onto the rink.

At the door leading to the rink, Panda couldn’t help but feel a tad nervous. It had been a while since he had done this, and though he had never had any bad experiences with the limited amount of times he had skated, he knew he wasn’t the most coordinated out of his brothers.

“Alright, fellas, let’s go!” Grizz called excitedly as he took his first few steps onto the ice. Ice Bear followed after him while Panda continued to stay on the outside, using the railing to keep himself balanced. He took a few wobbly steps until he was at the edge of where the carpet met the ice and finally pushed himself out onto the rink. At first he had to get used to the transition, but after a few seconds he kept himself steady as if he was naturally standing on the ground. He timidly pushed off with his left foot, followed by his right, and felt himself slowly glide along the ice. He relaxed a bit and chuckled to himself, beginning to pick up his pace in an effort to catch up with his brothers. ‘Hey, I’m a little better at this than I thought,’ Panda thought to himself with a bit of glee. He made his way up to Grizz who at that point had already resigned himself to skating at his own pace after a few failed attempts at keeping up to Ice Bear.

“Oh, hey bro, I see you’re having fun,” Grizz said with a little huff.

“Yeah, honestly this is going kinda better than I expected,” Panda replied with a hint of a smile beginning to form. “I pretty much expected to be picking myself up off the floor by now, but it’s like all the muscle memories I learned from skating the last time just came right back to me.”

“That’s great to hear Pan-Pan. You know if you wanted to, I read on the promotional poster that they were doing a little mini skating boot camp every few hours to try and teach people some tricks if you’re interested. The next one’s starting up in a little bit actually.”

“Uh, geez I don’t know Grizz. I mean, skating casually around the rink is one thing, but trying anything more complex than that would probably just end up with me falling all over myself…” Panda cringed a bit as a mental image of himself landing on his face in front of everyone ran through his mind.

“No way! I’m sure you’ll be totally great. Look, you’re already doing so good right now. I think you should give it a shot,” Grizz shot back to Panda, each word gaining more and more enthusiasm.

“I mean, you really think so,” Panda slowed his speed down a bit while he genuinely took Grizz’s offer into consideration. ‘It was just an hour of a group of people being taught a few tricks by one of the staff members. With the assumption that we’d all be beginners they probably wouldn’t try anything too terribly difficult,’ Panda reasoned to himself. ‘Beside, I’m actually really enjoying this. Why not step out of my comfort zone for once and have a little faith?’ With a resilient huff, he nodded to his brother, “You know what? Yeah, I think I’ll try it.”

“Alright, cool!” Grizz reassured his brother with a pat on the shoulder. “I think they’re almost finished with sign ups so you better hurry,” he stated, pointing with his paw back towards the direction of the front desk where they had first signed up, “It works out well because we’ll be nearly finished with our two hour turn once your thing is said and done. We can just pack up and go when you’re through.”

“Thanks Grizz, I’ll catch you later,” Panda leaned to the left and swerved himself back towards the entrance of the rink. Managing to keep his balance as he transitioned back to a carpet terrain, he made his way over to the desk and managed to place his name on the list in one of the last remaining spots. After a few moments of inquiry with Jessica, she directed him to a door placed near the facilities snack lounge. Upon entering, he had to give his eyes a few moments to adjust to the hazy blue lighting of the room before him, but once they had, he found himself enclosed in a pseudo wintery wonderland.

There was a path flanked with rope barriers that led down to a smaller ice rink than the one in main room before. On either side of him, beyond the ropes, was a scene reminiscent of what one might find in a young child’s reimagining of the North Pole. Artificial snow lined the ground and weaved itself in and out of the branches of fake, miniature fir trees that were placed all around to create a somewhat sparsely vegetated forest. Multi-colored lights found their homes nestled in the branches along with the snow to evoke the sense of arcadian Christmas trees. Past them, at about the midway section of the room, the woods gave way to larger than life candy canes. Lit lanterns placed on hooks at their red and white arches illuminated an inaccessible trail, meant only for decoration, but wound throughout the room’s back section until it found its destination at a beautifully constructed Christmas village. Above it lay a mural that spanned the entire length and width of the room’s back wall, depicting a mountainous background seated comfortably beneath a stunning painting of the aurora borealis. In the center of the serene winter landscape sat the room’s crown jewel, its beautifully maintained ice rink structured to resemble a rustic pond that had frozen over as if by an arctic chill.

Panda paused for a moment and marveled at the scenery before him. ‘I really wish Alex could be here to see this with me,’ he thought to himself almost involuntarily. The magic of the world around him faltered for a moment as he realized the thought that had just invaded his mind. At first he wanted to question himself, to wonder why out of all things Alex would be the one who his thoughts would immediately turn to, but for now he decided to put all that on the back burner and to just let himself enjoy the current moment uninhibited.

He gripped the rope in his paw for support and slowly made his way down to the ice pond below. A group of about twenty had already congregated in the center and were casually chatting away as they waited for their skating session to begin. Panda finally found himself at the bottom of the path and quickly regained his balance as he pushed himself onto the ice. He skated towards the outskirts of the group and awkwardly placed himself near a few teens that had obviously come together. He was halfway through counting the stars that dotted the walls when he was nearly blinded by a bright light that suddenly illuminated the entirety of the room around him.

“Alright everybody, listen up,” a smooth yet firm voice cut through the brightness and grabbed the attention of everyone at the rink, “I’m your instructor for the next hour, Mr. Wallace.” Once Panda’s eyes adjusted to the light, he found himself staring at a man who appeared to be in his early thirties. He was bundled up in the light winter gear of the other employees with a lean physique that hinted at his years of experience on the rink. He had a set jaw that fit the stereotype of a man who knew how to take a leadership role, though his eyes had a calmness to them that betrayed a man who knew how to be understanding with those in his charge. He made his way down the path with perfect balance in a pair of well-worn skates that were obviously his own personal ones. With a wave, he opened his mouth and let his voice once again cut through the room, “First, I’d like to thank you all for taking the time out of your busy schedules to come support us at our grand opening. More importantly, I’d like to thank you all for electing to spend your next hour with me. I’m honored to have the opportunity to pass onto you all some of my favorite techniques of this graceful yet focused sport. Second, I want to assure you all that I will serve you to the best of my ability. As long as you all provide me with your undivided attention and take this seriously, I promise not to let anything happen to you. Ankle and leg injuries are a common occurrence on the ice, let’s all make sure that we maintain this space as an accident free zone.” He slid onto the rink with a seamless transition, as if the ice felt as natural under his feet as the ground did for everyone else.

“This hour long course will be split into two sections. First, we’re going to take about fifteen minutes to go over basic safety when on the ice and then go over basic skating forms to make your skating more streamlined and to minimize risk of injury. The second portion is when we’ll dive into a few techniques. The few I’m going to show you are rudimentary, but they’re the building blocks to any skater’s career. Every professional has had to learn these when they first began, and I’d like to pass that on to you all. Who knows, maybe I could be starting the journey of the next Michelle Kwan or Johnny Weir.” At that, he chuckled a bit and then clasped his hands together, a small smile spreading across his face that barely contained his glee. “Alright, so let’s begin.”

Over the next fifteen minutes or so, Panda went through the motions as the instructor explained the preliminaries of his course. He had them each line up and practice through multiple proper skating stances, teaching them how to flow through each one with precision. Once they felt comfortable, he shifted his lessons to actual movement, slowly skating a few laps around the rink to demonstrate how they ought to center their gravity so as to avoid falling out of a sharp turn. A few times he allowed himself a few slip ups to show how best to recover and avoid any serious injury.

“Ok, now that we’ve gotten all of that out of the way, let’s get down to the real nitty-gritty,” Mr. Wallace began as he came out of a lap, stopping himself in front of the group of fledgling skaters. “Now, I’m not expecting any of you to be masters after this, so don’t beat yourselves up if you can’t really get one of these. This is just meant to be a taste of the lessons we give here. I decided that for this session, we’d start with the two-foot spin, and then go into the mohawk. For the spin, the most important thing to note is to not go crazy. It’s easy to get dizzy if you’re not used to it and that’s a one way to ticket to having your butt hit the ice. When you’re going into the spin, you want to carry yourself as if there’s a string running out of the center of your head and being pulled to keep you straight. Any shifts of weight can throw off your center of gravity and send you tumbling out of your spin.” He maneuvered himself a bit away from the group in order to give himself room. “To initiate, you’re going to want to set yourself into the pivot position with one of your legs kept near you and pointing in the direction that your body is facing while your other leg is placed a little bit away from you out to your side and facing perpendicular from the direction of the other foot. You’re also going to need to place your arms out to the side at about chest level in order to put more momentum into your spin. Keep your knee of the leg placed out to the side of your body somewhat bent as if it was a pivot you planned to swerve off of, hence the name of the position. Now, you’re gonna want to push off with your front facing and use your side foot as the center of your spin. Once you push off into the spin, bring your push off foot closer to your body and bring your arms closer to your chest like a relaxed self-hug. Now all that’s left to do is let the spin play out and then to come to a stop once you’re ready, like so.” With that, he demonstrated the move with a near perfect flow of movement. For a moment, Panda was enraptured with how powerful yet agile it all seemed, like a refined ballet dancer made rough by the effects of a harsh tundra winter. The instructor came out of his spin with a glint of fire in his eyes, as if the exhilaration of his speed had awoken something in him.

“So, who’s going to be the first of you to set the group’s pace…” Mr. Wallace paused for a moment, chin resting in hand as if in deep contemplation as his eyes surveyed the group before him. Panda’s paws started to nervously pat at his sides as the instructor’s eyes came to rest on him. “You, the panda near the back, come on down.”

Panda felt himself freeze up, now due to something more than just the ice all around him. He felt the eyes of almost everyone in the group turn to look at him, and through he tried to block them out, he could still feel their mental intrusion. He took a deep breath, and slowly willed his foot forward. ‘Come on Panda, you can do this,’ he thought to himself, ‘what if Alex was here? What would he do if he had been picked?’ He took a deep breath and let his mind go blank. As if moving from the ocean to dry land, he slowly willed his legs forward until it became easier and quicker, like the metaphorical weight of the ocean water had been shed from his body. He slid up next to the instructor and turned to face the rest of his peers.

“Ok, sir, just stay focused and show us what you got. Just remember that this is a place free of judgment. Everyone else here are also beginners and understand that this could be difficult. So no worries, just relax and have fun,” the instructor finished with a tone of genuine encouragement. His words admittedly had a calming effect for Panda, more so than even his own. He took one more breath and fixed his body into the opening position.

He wasn’t sure what it was, but something about his stance just felt natural, as if this were a maneuver his body was used to doing. He let the world fall away around him until all he knew was his own body and its alignment with the ice. With bated breath, he closed his eyes and swung himself into motion. The room twisted itself around him and he felt the pull on his stomach as his twirls picked up in speed. He didn’t know how many rotations he completed, or how long it took him to open his eyes once he had come to stop, but the next thing he did know was the light applause that came from a multitude of hands in front of him. Panda looked down and saw that he was still standing on his own two foot; something that in all honesty he thought wasn’t going to happen. He couldn’t help but feel proud about himself. He had taken a chance for once and allowed himself to just try something, and to his happiness he succeeded in pulling it off. Panda would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t feel a bit of a confidence boost, something that was probably much needed.

“That was really fantastic, especially for a first try! Everyone, notice how he moved through it all in one fluid motion and kept his weight settled in the upper half of his body. A very fine attempt, sir. Now, who would like to follow that up?” Mr. Wallace addressed to the group. With a smile, Panda made his way back to his original spot as someone else volunteered aloud and came to take his spot next to the instructor. Like his spins, the rest of the session seemed to rush by in a whirl, his high spirits never leaving him once. Not even once the session ended and his buzzer sadly indicated that his time at the rink was up did he ever feel like anything could pull him down from this high.

_____________________________________________________________________________

“Actually, you know what? I really gotta go too. Be right back Pan-Pan, don’t get too crazy while I’m gone,” Grizz said as he raced off to the bathroom. Ice Bear had left just a moment before leaving Panda and Grizz to stand in line while waiting for their turn to place their orders at Augustine’s Café. Now it was just Panda, who started to get a little nervous as he kept inching closer and closer to the counter.

Seconds started to turn into minutes, and one by one people picked up their orders and exited the line to find a table. Panda fervently began twisting his head any which way, hoping to get a glimpse of his brothers, but to no avail. All he saw were the tables and booths of the café sporadically placed throughout; teeming with people he did not know. He turned his attention back to the counter, now closer than ever, and tried to pass the time by counting the amount of desserts lined up in the display cases that flanked both sides of the register. He was reaching the line of tarts for a second time when a new voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

“Welcome to Augustine’s, what would you like to order?” the attendant behind the counter offered him an expectant smile; her fingers hovered over the register in anticipation of sending the request back to the kitchen.

“Uh… W-well, I, um,” Panda stammered as his eyes turned skyward to survey the menu hanging above the cashier’s head. Truth be told he already knew what he wanted to get, their spiced pumpkin apple cider was always his go to drink, but he couldn’t exactly go through with his purchase without his brothers. He couldn’t exactly stall forever either with so many people behind him waiting for their own turns. “I, I guess I’ll have one of your tall pumpkin apple ciders please,” Panda offered timidly.

“Alright,” she replied, typing in the order on the register before her, “that’s going to be $4.27, sir.”

Panda tensed up. He zipped open his fanny pack and rummaged through it in an attempt to appear as if he was searching for his money. The waitress gave a noticeable cough as Panda continued his faux search, giving a nervous chuckle in response as he felt the heat rise to his face. ‘Damn it, where the hell are they?’ he worried as he could sense the people behind him becoming more and more impatient. He was about to offer up an excuse along the lines of having left his wallet elsewhere when a set of bills clutched in a white paw suddenly whirred past him and onto the counter.

“Ice Bear has this,” a familiar voice buzzed in his ear. Panda gave a sigh of relief at the realization that one of his brothers had returned. He felt better that he no longer had to keep up with his payment charade, but the twists in his stomach still persisted. Another moment of being dependent on the financial whims of his brothers completed. He sullenly offered a thanks to Ice Bear and stepped aside to allow him to order. Grizz followed shortly after and apologized for the long bathroom wait that kept them both from returning sooner. Once their drinks had arrived, they found one of the few still empty booths of the café in the front corner near the door. Ice Bear and Grizz sat themselves in the seat facing the wall while Panda maneuvered himself around a decorative column and took the seat opposite them facing the direction of the main counter.

Now that they were settled, Grizz began regaling Panda with an account of his and Ice Bear’s time at the rink while Panda was off at his mini boot camp session. Panda knew he should be giving Grizz his attention, but at the present moment his thoughts were elsewhere. ‘How much longer am I going to live like this?’ he wondered to himself. ‘I can’t just go the rest of my life expecting my brothers to pay for everything. I… I need to have my own autonomy, my own source of income made from my own path in life, but I have no idea what I’d do or where I’d go to even get started. I mean, I sorta have an idea of one possible path, but I’d near more than me to accomplish that. Alex is right over there, I could ask him for his help about-.’

At that moment, it was all Panda could do to not spit up his drink all over the table. There standing in the line a ways away was Alex, his back thankfully to Panda. Panda tried to process what he was doing there when he was supposedly incapacitated at home with all the work he had to do, and how disastrous things could go if Alex came up to his table while his brothers were there. Before he could come to any conclusions, however, a new event caused his train of thought to nearly short circuit and run off the rails. A guy Panda had never seen before entered the café and immediately made his way towards Alex, wrapping him in a hug as soon as he approached. Panda felt as if his stomach dropped out from beneath him when Alex returned his own smile and hug to the stranger.

‘What the hell??’ he swore in his mind. ‘He told me he’d be way too busy to hang out and yet all of a sudden he’s here in a café getting physical with some other guy?’ An overwhelming sensation arose within him to find out who the other guy was and why of all people Alex felt he was worth stopping work for. Had Panda really done something and he was just too nice back at the lake to say anything? He felt the threat of a tear start to heat up in his eyes but he forced them away before they could materialize. He didn’t need his brothers asking questions.

“We need to go, like now,” Panda said with a bit more force than probably needed, interrupting his brother’s story mid-sentence. Grizz responded with a look of surprise and questioning. It generally wasn’t like Panda to have outbursts. “It’s just that I mean, uh, it’s the… laptop! Yeah! I just remembered that I left it on at home and it can get overheated and break if it stays powered on for too long, if that’s ok…” Panda finished as he lowered himself even more into his seat, hoping he didn’t cause too much of a stir.

“Well, I mean yeah sure if you’re afraid it’s gonna tear up, I guess. Is that alright with you I.B.?” Grizz turned to his youngest brother who responded with a simple shrug.

“Alright guys, thanks, I’m really sorry about all this but you know I can be forgetful sometimes,” Panda awkwardly offered his apology with a nervous chuckle. The three bears left their seats and made their way to the café’s exit. Panda quickly shooed his brothers out the door, thankful that he was going to make it out without being spotted. As he made his way through, Panda turned back to watch Alex and his mystery guy give their order together. With a sigh, Panda let the door close behind him and followed his brothers back to their den.  
_____________________________________________________________________________

“326… 327… 328…,” Panda mumbled to himself as he slowly made his way down the hallway of one of the local university’s engineering buildings. With each step, he felt his stomach tense up. During one of their short text conversations over the past few weeks, Alex had mentioned the room where he was going to be giving his presentation and Panda had decided that he wanted to show up to watch and surprise him afterwards. Even though what he saw back at the café still gnawed at his insides, he wanted to be there for Alex and show his support. He figured that maybe afterwards he could nonchalantly ask about it. He just somewhat feared what Alex might say.

He finally approached room 331 and breathed a sigh of relief that the lights for most of the room had been dimmed. It would make slipping in much easier, especially since the doors leading into the room opened up near the back. He quickly slid in and placed himself at an empty table furthest away from the front of the room. Scanning the room, his mind settled into a state of both nervousness and relief as he saw that Alex was already near the podium with his face buried into a computer, presumably setting up for whatever it was he was going to be talking about. Panda had succeeded in sneaking in.

Panda resigned himself to relaxing in seat until it was Alex’s time to present when a new presence nearly prompted him to fall out of his chair. Out from a side room, Alex’s friend, lover, whoever, emerged carrying several items which he quickly began setting up on a display table. Panda could feel his heartbeat quicken and his face flush. ‘Why the hell is he here…?’

Panda could only sit there in quiet agony as they finished whatever set up the two of them needed and promptly began their assignment. He learned that the mystery guy’s name was Sebastian as both of them opened up with an introduction. From there, the two of them devolved into a topic that Panda knew he most likely couldn’t make heads or tails of. What really threw him off, however, was that Alex appeared to be nervous as he addressed the rest of the class. It’s not that Panda viewed it as a character flaw, hell he’d probably be even worse at it, but public speaking wasn’t something he expected a guy like Alex to have any hang ups about. With time, though, he noticed that Alex gradually became more and more relaxed and clearer in his speaking.

After about fifteen minutes, Panda could tell that the two of them were starting to wind down. He slowly made his way to the exit and tried to slip out as noiselessly as he could. Now out in the hallway, he found a nearby bench and made himself comfortable, knowing he’d probably have to wait till the entire class time was over until Alex would come out. In the meantime, he allowed himself to close his eyes and doze off for a bit, not entirely sure when that ending time might be. Fortunately, he didn’t have to wait for very long.

His eyes shot open as he felt a weight place itself near him on the bench. From just a few feet away, he saw Alex grinning at him, still in his business attire from the presentation. Panda couldn’t help but notice that he looked really well in it.

“So… I see that you came to visit,” Alex quipped, obviously happy that Panda had unexpectedly shown up.

“I see that you have a little nervous issue when it comes to speaking in front of a crowd,” Panda jokingly stated. Alex had a quick look of bewilderment come over him before he understood and playfully stuck out his tongue in response.

“To be fair, that’s your own fault. You got a bit of a reputation after you crashed that Chloe girl’s project. You can’t blame me for being a bit paranoid when you suddenly show up in my class.”

“Wait, you saw me?” Panda asked, a little peeved that he had in fact been spotted.

“No offense, Sneezy, but a big black and white bear isn’t exactly the most inconspicuous sight.”

Panda let the nickname slide with an obviously fake chuckle. At the moment, he noticed that someone else had just left Alex’s classroom, but was thankfully leaving in down the opposite side of the hallway. His presence forced Panda’s mind to wonder to a new, more pressing possible topic of conversation.

“So… how about that guy you were giving your presentation with?” Panda thought allowed.

Alex paused for a bit, “Sebastian? What about him?”

“Well, I’ve never really heard you mention anything about him before. A few weeks back, when you told me you were too busy to hang out, I kinda happened to be at the café the same day I saw you and him in there together. You two really seemed to be really… familiar with each other,” Panda finished with a bit of a huff.

“Well I would hope we do. He’s been one of my best friends for a long time. We were meeting at the café together because as you obviously saw he was also my assignment partner. So you were also there but decided not to say hi or anything, huh?”

“Well I was… I mean my laptop, and… uh,” Panda couldn’t help but devolve into stuttering as Alex’s question threw him off guard.

“It also seems you couldn’t help but remember that he and I were all touchy-touchy,” Alex said with a smirk, “you weren’t jealous or anything were you?” Panda felt the heat to rush his face with that line of questioning.

“Absolutely not!” he replied, knowing without a doubt that if he were a human his face would be going at least fifty different shades of red.

“Suuuuuure,” Alex teased, knowing he was getting a rise out of the big bear.

“Anyway, forget about it. I’ve got something more important to ask about anyway,” Panda said, getting into the heart of why he really came to visit him.

“Alright, go for it,”

“Well… I saw how you’ve talked about your classes here and I see the passion you have for studying all of this. I see that same passion in my brother’s when they talk about the jobs that they do. Then I think about myself and it’s just… I don’t have anything. I don’t want to be dependent on everyone else’s work to get me through life, I want to be able to provide for myself, and work to putting in my own fair share back at the den. For a while I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do, even now I’m not one hundred percent certain on where this path is gonna take me, but at least I know where the starting point is. I want to eventually go to college like you, but to do that I’m gonna need your help. I want you to help me get my G.E.D. I already know some stuff from things I’ve read in the past, so I don’t think it’ll be too terribly difficult.” Panda knew that there were free classes readily available to help lead him toward that goal, but with Alex it was someone possibly teaching him that he was already comfortable with. On a side note, it also gave him an excuse to see him more. Alex mulled it over for a bit, and much to Panda’s happiness, eventually nodded his head.

“My schedule might be a little tight, but there’s absolutely no way I could say no to something like this. Your education is really important, and I’m really happy that you’ve decided to do something. I mean, not that I’m already happy with you now as you are… it’s just, well, you know what I mean,” Alex stumbled over himself as he tried to find the right wording for what he meant, hopeful that Panda understood. Panda smiled and reached up a paw and playfully messed up Alex’s hair, thankful to know that Alex had his own moments of cutely embarrassing word mess ups.

Panda stood up from the bench and reached out a paw to Alex, helping him onto his feet when his hand slipped into it.

“Yeah, I know,” Panda said with a smile, happily feeling that for the first time he actually, truly did.


	4. Boy Problems

Panda paced around the living room of his home, slowly rehearsing in his head what he was going to say to his brothers. His ears nervously twitched as he thought of every single way he could mess this up, accidentally saying the wrong thing, or giving the wrong facial expression, and letting them get that much closer to figuring out about Alex. He knew he wasn't the best liar, but at this point his brothers had some inkling that Panda was up to something. Evident after the short barrage of questioning he had received while waiting in line at the ice skating rink, and he needed to figure out some kind of explanation that would settle their (well, at least Grizz's) curiosity.

In all honesty, Panda could ignore all of this for the time being. His brothers had seemed to have forgotten about it after the initial interrogation, and Panda had been careful not to mention it since then, but now the situation carried a much heavier gravity than it did back then. If Panda was serious about trying to take his life forward, serious about trying to get his G.E.D., and feel like he was of personal worth to his brothers, then it was something he should be more than exuberant to share with them. It was hard to think about it that way, though, when that rose garden of an idea was planted firmly on top of what seemed like a mine field named Alex. All Panda had to do was navigate it as best as he could.

He was contemplating how best to approach them without raising too much suspicion when a sudden flash of inspiration caused him to dart out of the living room and into his bedroom. He slammed the door behind him and quickly raced over to the pillow pile he had created in the corner of his room. Lying on top was the ever faithful Miki-chan, a dakimakura he had bought at an anime convention a little over a year ago that kept him company outside of his brothers whenever he sorely needed it.

At first, Panda was a little embarrassed to admit he bought her for purely superficial reasons. The girl on the front of the body pillow seemed attractive to him, and at the very least he could pretend there was a girl cuddled up in the bed with him whenever a night came that his loneliness felt overwhelming. He discreetly bought her from the vendor in the dealer's room and thought that that would simply be the end of things. However, the simple, stereotypical body pillow eventually blossomed into something much more unique for the black and white bear. Over time, she became the sole confidante to a lot of his rants, whether it dealt with whatever mess Grizz had gotten him and their other brother into that day, or, heaven forbid, a teary tirade about another girl who had heartlessly rejected him.

He knew that to many this whole thing would seem a bit peculiar, and even Panda had to admit that maybe it was a little weird to have a body pillow double as a silent therapist, but it's not as if he felt that there were that many other options. Panda couldn't help but be the type of bear that constantly worried about what other people were thinking about him. His brothers had reassured him over and over again that they appreciated it whenever he felt like he could come to them with a problem, but the more Panda did that, the more he couldn't help but be paranoid at the thought of them secretly viewing him as an obnoxious whiner. At least with Miki-chan, he felt a sense of security knowing that she couldn't possibly judge him, openly or secretly, and now with his new hare-brained scheme, she was needed more than ever.

He propped her up against the foot of his bed and sat himself down on the floor a few feet from her.

"Alright Miki-chan, I haven't exactly gotten around to telling my brothers about my tutoring or, you know, the one who's giving me the tutoring," at this he gave a side eye look to no one in particular, "And you of all, well, pillows know that I'm not exactly the best at keeping things hidden either, which is why I need your help with a bit of roleplaying. For right now, I'll stick to being me while you'll stand in for Grizz and little bro. Well, mainly Grizz."

"…." Miki-chan held her gaze with him as if to signal her silent approval.

"So, uh, I brought you both in here because I figured it was time I told the two of you what was going on with me. I know you both like to take care of me, and don't really take an issue with the fact that I don't have a job or anything, but I don't want that to be all there is to my life. I've decided I want to put my strongest paw forward and be able to engage in an honest day's work with it. I want to be able to contribute to the household in what I feel is a meaningful way.

I'm tired of feeling like I have to depend on the both of you; I want to be better than that. So, y-you know, that's why I decided a while back to start working towards my G.E.D. with classes over at the local community college. That's why you saw me out and about whenever you did little bro."

"…."

"How long have I been going?" Panda hadn't actually had any tutoring yet, but he needed to at least pretend he had an answer to Miki-chan's imagined question to possibly direct his brother's away from the half lie, "Uh, about a month now. We're really starting to delve into the heavier material."

"…."

"How are my classmates? Well they're fine I guess. I haven't really had the time to get to know any of them that well besides a few."  
"…."

"Are any of the few a guy? W-well yeah but I don't really see what that has to do anything…"

"…."

"What do I think about him? Well I mean he's really nice and he always manages to make me laugh when I really need it. He's always got this smile plastered across his face when he's around me and I can't help but find his enthusiasm a little infectious…"

"…."

"Does he like me?" Panda couldn't help but answer through a bout of nervous laughter. "I mean maybe, I don't know, he could but that doesn't really bother me, I mean-"

"…."

"What? No I don't like him back! I-I mean yeah I know that I probably get a little too happy whenever I'm around him and I think guys can nonchalantly notice another guy's looks without there having to be anything it's just-"

"…."

"No I'm not getting flustered over him, I just-"

"…."

"No Grizz, seriously, I-I really don't think of him that way. I-"  
"Panda?"

"Miki-chan? You can talk?" Panda gasped as he felt his heart skip a beat. He quickly scooted himself backwards across the floor away from the pillow when he felt something big and warm block his path from behind. He turned his head upward to see Grizz staring back at him with a mild look of worry on his face, their polar bear sibling barely behind him who carried an appearance of natural disinterest. Panda twisted himself so that he was facing towards them as he realized with a twinge of horror that Grizz was the source of his name being spoken. He felt sick to his stomach as he wondered what all they had heard.

"Is everything alright?" Grizz asked as he lowered a paw for Panda to take. Panda used his brother's paw to pull himself up and was having a hard time maintaining eye contact due to his embarrassment.

"Why didn't you guys knock?" Panda questioned, his voice rising in volume in hopes of masking his inner turmoil. He crossed his arms in hopes of matching his body language with how he was talking. "You do this all the time, Grizz. You just barge into my room unannounced without any consideration for why I might have even had the door closed in the first place."

"We did knock," Grizz retorted. "I even called your name several times, but every time I did you just kept getting louder and louder. We were getting worried about you."

"Ice Bear feared the worst."

"That's why we came in anyway. What were you even doing? We heard you saying something about not liking someone?" Panda chewed on his lower lip as he quickly tried to think of the best excuse that he could. He quickly glanced back in the direction of his pillow person and just decided to roll with it.

"I was doing roleplay practice with Miki-chan for an online group that I recently joined," Panda mumbled, his tone causing Grizz to raise an eyebrow in disbelief.

"Why did I hear my name then?" Grizz asked.

'Crap…' Panda thought to himself. "I was just using you as a stand in for a character. I haven't really caught up on the show that they're currently discussing so I was just testing things out with names that were already familiar to me," Panda said, hesitating as he began rubbing the tips of his paws together, "now that I say it out loud, though, this does all sound kinda stupid…"

"No! Not at all Pan-Pan," Grizz waved his arms in front of him in a manner that signaled his reassurance to his brother. "I think it's great that you're getting so passionate into your hobbies. I'm not railing against it, I was just a little curious is all. I mean, no offence, but little bro here and I have kinda noticed that you've been acting a tiny bit strange as of late. You sure there's not anything going on we should know about? We're just asking because we care." With that, Panda felt this presented opportunity was as good an opening as any.

"Well, actually, there is something I've been meaning to tell you guys," Panda responded, this time his voice showing a little more assuredness as it pertained to a topic he was actually being genuine about.

"Alright, great!" Grizz reached over and ruffled the fur atop Panda's head with his paw. "Just know that whatever it is, we'll both be here for you," he finished with a warm smile that stretched from ear to ear. Gathering his thoughts and wits about him, Panda took a breath before letting his words rush out of him like a bullet train.

"Ok, so here's the thing. I love the both of you. You two are the best brothers I could possibly ever have, but as of late I've really started to notice exactly how much the two of you do for me and how little I feel I give back in return and it makes me-, no Grizz, let me finish," Panda interrupted himself as he saw Grizz begin to open his mouth.

"But-"

"No Grizz," Panda reiterated, crossing his arms in frustration, "please, this is something I need to get out, now. " Upon seeing Grizz reluctantly acquiesce, he continued, "I feel like I'm not pulling enough weight around here, like I'm some kind of burden who just takes advantage of the two of you. Even beyond how I feel about my lack of contributing to the family financially wise, there's still something bigger that's been gnawing at me. I have no idea where I'm going with my life. Up until now I was fine with just spending each day with the both of you, reading manga, and playing games online, but that can't be all there is for me, can there? I just don't think I can really be content with coasting anymore. I want to carve my own path in life and experience accomplishments and failures on my own terms. I want to feel like I have a purpose.

It's because of that that I've been acting kind of weird lately. Remember a while back, at the ice skating rink, how you got curious at what I'd been up to? How it seemed like I was roaming around the city on my own?" At the mention of that forgotten detail, Grizz's ears perked up and he nodded his head vigorously.

"Well, the truth is that at this point I'm still trying to figure out where I'm going. Not to get too weird about it, but it's like there's a long winding road ahead of me that branches out into so many different directions and I'm still too far away to see where any of them go, but I at least know the path right in front of me and where I need to go to start. It hasn't been that long, but I've started taking G.E.D. classes at the local community college in hopes of getting to attend one of the universities around here if I'm able to pass the exam. That's why I.B. saw me wandering around the city. I was heading to one of my classes for the day," Panda finished, nervously shuffling one of his back paws in a continuous circle on the floor in anticipation of their response.

He at first expected to hear some kind of vocal confirmation, but instead he was nearly thrown off balance as a stampeding ball of fur threatened to nearly engulf him. Grizz, not one for any sort of delayed reaction, had wrapped Panda in one of his biggest hugs in recent memory.

"Dude, I'm so proud of you," Grizz started, still constricting Panda's airflow with his vice like grip before finally letting him. "That's a really big step for you and I'm glad that you told us. I'm sure no matter what you set your mind to; you're going to be great at it. That's just the kind of bear you are."

At that, Panda couldn't help but offer a sheepish grin in reply.

"Oh gee, Grizz, you really think so?"

"I know so, but for now I also kinda want to address that other thing you said real quick. Never, under any circumstances, ever feel like you're a burden to this family. It doesn't matter if you never end up chipping in a single penny around here, you're still gonna be our bro and we're still going to always love you. Just having you here with us is enough. Why do you think we keep you in the middle of the stack? Between my rambunctiousness and little bro's bluntness, you're the glue that keeps us all together. If this is a goal you want to pursue for yourself then by all means do it. I just want for you whatever makes you the happiest."

Panda turned his head as he felt a paw land on his shoulder. Attached to it was their white furred sibling, a rare, but small smile on his face.

"Ice Bear agrees. Really happy for you."

Panda couldn't help but feel a small pool of tears threaten to blossom forth as his own smile appeared. He took his brothers, one under each arm, and returned his own hug.

"How did I ever get so lucky to have the both of you in my life? You guys mean the world to me." Panda finished, finally being able to feel at ease in the warmth of his brothers' embrace.

Panda couldn't help but feel himself grow more and more nervous with each stroke of a pen he heard coming from the other side of the room. Each scribble, barely above that of a mouse's whisper in reality, was a gunshot echoing throughout his mind; each red mark on the paper a new fresh wound. For the time being, Panda tried to distract himself by surveying the environment before him.

While he had been to Alex's home a few times already since they had begun hanging out, this was the first time Panda had found himself in his personal bedroom. He was actually a little surprised to see how stereotypical it was. It had the bare necessities one would suspect, one being a bed situated against the back wall with a fairly elegant mahogany backboard and gray and cobalt blue bedsheets. Opposite the bed was a sizeable 36 inch flat screen nestled alongside a Playstation 4, both resting atop a chest of drawers which Panda imagined contained a variety of Alex's clothes with his nicer material probably hanging in the closet one door down from his room.

Along the wall adjacent to the television from the left was a large window that looked over the block, the ocean blue curtains currently pulled back to let in the sunlight and to allow Alex a view while he sat at a fairly expansive desk and graded Panda's test. His laptop was placed next to him on the desk and open to the webpage with the answer key. It was to the right of the tv, however, where Panda currently found himself, nestled at a table with a plotted plant to keep him company while he anxiously waited.

He was looking over the posters of various animes (one being a show he had recommended near the start of their friendship) and games he recognized that sporadically dotted the walls around him, when out of the corner of his eye he noticed Alex stand up with a huff. Whether to view that huff as good or bad, Panda was uncertain. Shuffling the papers in his hands, Alex looked up at Panda and offered him a small smile. Panda hesitantly gave one back.

"You don't have to look so scared Pan-Pan. You honestly didn't do that bad, especially for this being your first official foray into the world of academia." Panda brightened up a bit at the soft compliment.

"So you think I'm already pretty close to being ready to take the real thing?" Panda asked. Alex's countenance shifted a bit at the question. He placed the graded papers on top of the table in front of Panda and proceeded to give his head a small pat, causing a small rush of what felt like butterflies to ripple through his stomach that he tried to ignore.

"Well, no, I didn't necessarily say that. You've got a good start sure, but there are definitely some subjects here that have room for improvement. The good news is that you actually did really well on the English portion. All we'd probably have to do for that is a little bit of fine tuning for a few specific grammar rules," he paused as Panda begun to look over his test and the red marks throughout before continuing. "However, you're math and science subjects have a bit to be desired. They were by no means terrible, but we're definitely going to have to endure some heavy boot camps while tackling those two. As for your civics and government… you kinda dropped the ball on that one sneezy."

Panda decided to let that one slip by as he tried to give what he felt was a pretty valid excuse, the irritation in his tone a little evident, "That's not exactly my fault, you know. I live out in the woods, and I'm not even legally allowed to vote. Why would I have felt the need to have ever learned about any of that stuff?" Alex gave another head rub in an attempt to soothe him.

"When you think about it, it's honestly pretty messed up. You're a sentient being with your own role in the structure of society. The least they should do is allow you to vote."

"Honestly," Panda started, "it's not exactly something I care about all that much, I mean at least not currently, maybe. This whole not flunking my chance at getting into college because of one stupid course is a little more pressing for me."

"It's alright Pan-Pan, nothing we can't handle. It's actually one of the easier subjects to learn, more about memorization than anything. I'm sure we'll have it down in no time," Alex's smile grew a little bigger as he continued, "I mean it though, you did a fairly decent job with this one. I have complete faith in you and that you'll have this passed within a few months." Panda couldn't help but groan audibly at that.

"A few months? I was hoping we'd have this knocked out of the park in maybe one, tops."

"You're learning the equivalent of thirteen years' worth of schooling," he spoke while giving a light chuckle, "you're being a little generous with that line of thinking. I mean, don't get me wrong, I was genuine when I said that you're actually at a pretty great place, but we still have a lot of work ahead of us."

Panda gave a small, frustrated huff and laid his head to rest on the table in front of him before giving a muffled response, "So, what? Are you wanting to start on civics today?"

"Actually, I think I have something else in mind for right now," Alex said with a hint of playfulness in his tone. The sound of paper meeting wood caused Panda to lift his head where he noticed a brochure placed next to him that hadn't been there simply moments before. He picked it up in his paws and gave it a closer look only to be met with several images of a crowded street and miscellaneous food items.

Alex continued as he saw Panda looking the invitation over, "I figured that your introductory test would be good enough for right now and that afterwards we could just hang out at the festival going on today. I know how much you like fall stuff, and it's been a few years since I've been to the city's Oktoberfest. Besides, I, uh… kinda wanna make up for lost time since I was so wrapped up in my design project recently," he finished as his mouth shifted into a sheepish grin with the last line, one of his hands having moved to rest onto the back of his head as if he was nervous to see what the response would be.

Panda couldn't help but smile as he gave a soft but friendly bop to Alex's nose with the brochure, "Of course I'd love to go to this, especially, you know, if it means we're done with this for the day. I've missed hanging out with you too man, and honestly I could use a bit of a breather from my brothers. "

Alex's grin seemed to nearly break for a moment at Panda's answer before he responded that he'd need to get his coat first. Once they were both dressed appropriately, Alex in a black windbreaker jacket and Panda in a thin crimson hoodie he had gotten last Christmas, they made their way out of the house and onto the city sidewalk. With a nudge of his elbow and a tilt of his head, Alex indicated to Panda which they'd need to go.

At first, the pair eagerly chatted away about the newest chapter of Food Wars that had been released while at the same time lamenting the amount of the shows they followed that were currently still on hiatus. It wasn't until after a friendly debate on a game theory that Panda had recently read about that their conversation started to grow more and more silent until it basically became non-existent.

It wasn't, for once, Panda's fault either due to some amount of inescapable awkwardness. It had been a few minutes, but he had started to notice that Alex had become more focused on his own personal thoughts more than the conversation at hand. He wasn't sure what had caused the sudden change in mood, but whatever it was, he hesitated on trying to call attention to it. Instead, he turned his gaze forward and let himself be left to his own thoughts as well.

They stayed like this for several minutes before Alex finally spoke up again, his sudden vocalization causing Panda to tense up out of surprise

"So…" Alex began, taking a moment to gather his thoughts for what he assumed could possibly be a touchy subject, "I've got something I've been meaning to ask you."  
"Y-yeah? What is it?" Panda asked, continuing to look ahead of him out of a slight fear at what Alex could be about to say.

"Well, we've been friends for a few months now, and I've really enjoyed the time I've spent hanging out with you, but is there any particular reason I haven't met your brothers yet?"

At that moment Panda felt as if his heart was never going to start again.

"W-w-why do you ask that?" Panda stuttered, now even more determined to avoid eye contact.

"Well you can't tell me it's not at least a little odd, especially given how much you talk about them. I mean you've met both my parents and my little sister. Meanwhile, the furthest I know about them is the presentation you guys gave for Chloe which doesn't exactly amount to much. Are you afraid I'll embarrass you with my teasing?" he quipped in an attempt to inject a bit of lightheartedness into the topic.

"No, it's not that at all, really. It's just my brothers can be rambunctious and a lot to handle. I want to make sure that once you meet them they'll make a good impression. I swear though, you will meet them, but I mean, it's just that… I already kinda share almost everything with them as it is. It's sorta nice to say that for right now I have you all to myself," Panda finished, his voice getting a little quieter with his last few words.

"O-oh, uh, yeah I guess so," Alex said back. For the quickest second Panda swore that he saw Alex's face grow a little red before quickly changing back to its normal color, his facial expression becoming indecipherable. Panda mentally slapped himself for that one.

'Why in the absolute hell did I say that just now?' Panda thought to himself as he nervously played with the strings of his hoodie. He was quickly wondering if he should give some kind of clarification when Alex's voice once again ripped him away from his thoughts.

"Hey, we're almost there. It actually took us a little bit quicker than I expected." Panda looked up to see that he was right. The amount of people walking along the sidewalks was starting to grow, and in the distance he thought he heard some kind of announcer over a set of speakers. As if on cue, he began smelling sweet hints of cinnamon and other confectionery scents that drifted towards him on a rush of wind. He wondered if Alex could smell it too.

One look in his direction showed that that most likely wasn't the case. Panda could tell that he was probably still mentally lingering on their recent conversation. Panda feared Alex might have taken his last comment a little more seriously than he meant it to be, wondering what he could have meant by it. Hell, somewhere inside of him, Panda was starting to wonder if he even knew what he meant by it.


	5. Ghost

They walked the last couple of blocks in silence, their lack of conversation a bubble that insulated the two of them from the clamor of the landscape before them. If anything, their private, voiceless connection felt more deafening in its own right, washing out all that surrounded Panda as a tidal wave of thoughts rushed over him.

‘Am… am I instigating something without even realizing it?’ he wondered to himself as he and Alex finally made their way past the makeshift entrance gate of the festival. Of course moments like these were rare for him. He could only remember one other time during his somewhat short, albeit fruitful friendship with Alex where he consciously noticed that he had said something possibly suggestive; something that seemed fine as long as one simply tread the surface, but at the same time offered deeper waters if Alex so chose to swim there.

Those moments weren’t lost on Panda either. He had mentally chastised himself a while back when at a movie theater he had leaned over and whispered to Alex that he thought that they could spend a day together like the one the characters above them were having, just the two of them. Alex reminded Panda that they were watching the near climax of a rom-com and jokingly asked if Panda was using the movie as a front to ask him out on a date. Panda had stammered through a multitude of no’s while Alex only laughed back under his breath. It was never really brought up again, but yet that moment still stuck with him.

The current makeup of their relationship was constructed purely around Panda built boundaries. Alex had approached him with the hopes of a relationship that Panda was quick to shoot down but with the added caveat of friendship; something Alex had readily agreed to.

“Free sample?”

As far as he could tell, Panda thought he was making good on his word. Beyond a good natured joke here and there, Alex had so far kept everything platonic and respected Panda’s wishes with seemingly little effort. Yet it seemed Panda might be the one to accidentally ignite something, something that could grow back to burn him if there was a chance Alex was simply masking what he still felt.

“Panda.”

Panda couldn’t tell if it was simply a subconscious response to being around someone who was interested in him after all his time being alone, but whatever it was he needed to keep it in check. As far as he consciously knew, his feelings for Alex were, at the end of the day, still nothing more than friends.

“Uh… Pan-pan?”

A shoulder tap finally rocked Panda back to reality. He turned his head to the side to find Alex giving him a quizzing look.

“Huh? What?” Panda responded back with an air of confusion that nearly matched Alex’s. It took him a few moments before he realized that they had stopped walking. “Is something going on?”

“Other than the fact that the girl in front of you kept trying to offer a free simple while you stared through her like you were completely somewhere else? Not really,” he bemused. 

Panda continued his look of bewilderment when another playful voice rang out front of him, “Took you long enough, I was starting to wonder if you had forgotten who I was.” Panda brought his vision forward only to be met with a smiling face merely a few feet from him. When everything finally came into focus, it was all he could do to not melt right there in the middle of the street. 

“I’ll take that as a no?” Lucy grinned in response to Panda’s stuttering. She stood there holding a tray full of mini plastic cups, each one nearly filled to the brim with a mixture of sautéed vegetables. Behind her stood her familiar hut, a sign reading “Lucy’s Produce” written in an elegant curly cue placed squarely above her wares so as to remind the public who they were buying from.

“N-no of course I remember you,” Panda still stammered, the uneasiness in his voice evident to anyone who listened. “I don’t exactly tend to forget people I… I-“

“Who you threw up in front of while suffering from a serious peanut allergy?” she finished a small, sympathetic smile.

“Yeah, it’s… it’s not exactly the best last impression to leave on someone,” he offered back with an awkward chuckle. “We never really heard from you again so I figured what I did probably had a pretty big hand in that.”

“Maybe a little,” she half teased, “honestly, though, it had more to do with the revving up of business. I had finally done well enough with the first store that I was able to open up a second Lucy’s Produce on the other side of town. Maintaining both ended up being more of handful than I had initially thought, but over time I finally managed to find my own rhythm. It still keeps me busy, but honestly it’s a decision I wouldn’t trade for the world.”

“Oh, well that’s really great to hear, Lucy,” Panda said, his normal tone returning now that the initial shock of the reunion was waning. “I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks, Pan. It was nice getting to see you again. Who knows, maybe one day soon I won’t be swamped with everything and I could come give you and your brothers a visit again,” she offered with a wave, her attention starting to shift back to her stand that had been slowly accumulating a solid group of potential buyers while they talked. Panda returned his own with a goodbye before turning back to Alex who then nodded his head in a direction further down the street. It wasn’t until they passed a kettle corn vendor a few tents down from Lucy’s before Alex spoke up.

“So… that was the girl you had the incident at the restaurant with?” Alex inquired. Panda looked at him before responding, feeling like there had been something different in the way he had asked that. Normally, Alex spoke with a positive, yet curious naïveté usually employed by children, but though it was faint, Panda noticed an edge to his tone; as if there was the tiniest undercurrent of strife that charged his meaning. Panda didn’t know what else to do other than ignore it. For all he knew, he could have just imagined it.

“Uh, yeah, that was her. Like she said, it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other,” Panda said, hoping that the simple admission would be enough to satiate whatever sudden curiosity Alex was having.

“Good to see she had no hard feelings,” he continued, “she seemed pretty comfortable to just pick things back up with you and your brothers.” Alright, that time Panda definitely heard it.

“I’m glad, I wouldn’t mind picking things back up with her either,” Panda replied, a level of annoyance filtered into his tone in the hopes that Alex would get the hint to just drop it. It must have worked as Alex went completely silent; the look on his face saying all that was needed. Panda immediately regretted it.

He knew it wasn’t fair, and that Alex’s feelings in this situation were completely justified. He was actively keeping a distance between two distinct parts of his life when the two had no real reason to not be intertwined. Alex and his brothers would meet soon, he knew; he couldn’t keep things the way they were for much longer. Alex was actively trying to bring Panda further into his life while Panda had barely cracked a door open in return. His guilt over the matter, however, was now threatening to burst that door wide open, and now that it had found a foothold, it wasn’t letting go.

Before it even registered in his mind what he was doing, he spoke again, “D- do you maybe want to come over to my place some night next week?” 

Alex’s head quickly turned to give Panda a look of genuine confusion, “Huh?”

The fur on the back of Panda’s neck bristled as he continued, “Would you want to hang over at my place one night next week? We could do a study session and then maybe play some games with my brothers if that’s alright with you…”

“But earlier you said-“

Panda cut him off with a small aggravated sigh, “I know what I said earlier, and I was being dumb. While I meant what I said about enjoying personal time with you, I should have taken into consideration how it made you feel. I do want my family to meet you. You’re a smart, caring guy that I’m sure they’d have no issue liking. I just get a little nervous about it is all, and I don’t even know why. Like I said, I’ve never really had anyone close to me other than them. I just would want it to go well.”

Alex beamed at him with a grin that nearly matched Grizz’s.

“So you consider me someone that’s close to you?”

Panda gave a fake look of irritation, “Is that all you got out of that?”

“Maybe,” Alex replied, giving Panda’s a shoulder a playful bump with his fist, “and to answer your earlier question; yes, I’d love to hang at your place very much.” Panda responded back with a chuckle, thankful that the apprehension he felt in his stomach seemed to lighten a little. Of course in the back of his mind he was thinking of every which way the situation could end badly, but for now he was simply happy to see Alex so ecstatic.

Stopping to take a look at the brochure, the pair began chatting away excitedly at the variety of attractions the festival had to offer. Panda was about to comment on a crafts booth he saw a little ways a way when a gasp from Alex blocked his chance.

“Come on, come on, come on! We gotta go check this out,” Alex said. Before he could ask any questions, Panda suddenly felt one of his arms in Alex’s grip. The next thing he knew he was being whisked away to what seemed like a makeshift concert stage. 

A decently sized wooden platform had been set up on the right of the street with musical equipment placed around both of its sides. A stereo system lined the front of the stage with a gap in the middle to allow access to anyone that needed it. The stage itself was situated in front of an enclave of painted iron tables one would usually see dotted around an upscale restaurant’s courtyard. 

Taking the sight in, Panda finally noticed a sign just outside of the first line of table’s.

“Kara-… oh, karaoke!” he finished, his excitement now matching Alex’s.

“I know! I haven’t gotten to enjoy something like this in a long time and I was not about to pass the opportunity up,” Alex responded. “Would you mind grabbing us a table? I’m gonna run over to one of the food trucks really quick and pick up something. You want anything?”

“Anything dessert wise is fine, and yeah I’ll find us a seat. No problem.”

Alex nodded his head in response and started making his way off further down the street. After a few minutes of shuffling between seated patrons and lobbing a volley of apologies, Panda managed to find a table with two empty chairs near the front. Placing himself in one, he relaxed and began nodding his head along to the woman on stage who was in the midst of a pretty energetic rendition of “Don’t Stop Believin’”. He was about to close his eyes and simply take in the sound of her voice when a book in the middle of the table caught his eye. He flipped through the first few pages when an idea immediately shot itself to the forefront of his mind.

After locating his intended song, he slyly glanced around to make sure that Alex was still nowhere in sight. Upon reconfirming his absence, Panda stealthy made his way over to the emcee booth and wrote his request in the first available slot on the list. He waded back through the seated crowd and quickly sat back down in his seat, an air of contained anticipation blowing through him.

Truth be told, Panda still wasn’t sure how he was able to do this. By all accounts, he was not the type of person to put himself at the center of a stage in front of an array of people. Yet, karaoke somehow happened to be one of his rare exceptions. Maybe it was his imagination taking the reins that made it possible for him, that when he got up on in front of an audience and sang his mind pictured the situation as if he was emulating one of the many K-Pop groups he was such a fan of. Whatever it was, it allowed him to participate in such an event with unbridled enjoyment; even if he wasn’t the best singer. Why should he question it?

It was a few minutes before Alex returned with the food, his choice of a bratwurst with peppers and onions while he found Panda an apple dumpling type of dish. A couple of drinks completed the meal. 

For a while, they simply enjoyed their food while taking in the sights and sounds of the constant stream of performers, like it was one big outside dinner and show. They applauded along to each number, and cheered loudly when the moment called for it. 

“And let’s give another hand to the lovely Ms. Aubrey Jenkins for her stunning rendition of Adele’s new track ‘Hello’,” the emcee announced with all the enthusiasm of a world class circus ring leader. “That’s sure gonna be one tough act to follow. For now, though, we’d like to-“

“You about ready to go?” Alex asked, maneuvering the straw of his cup in an attempt to get the last of the liquid inside.

“Yeah in a little bit,” Panda replied. “Give it about… five minutes?”

Alex gave him a small look of amusement, “Any particular reason for waiting another five minu-?” The sound of the emcee suddenly rang throughout the area as he nearly doubled his bravado, drowning out the rest of Alex’s question in the process.

“-So give it up for our next performers, a duo, Panda and Alex Hayes!”

“That,” Panda said with a smirk, one of his paws arbitrarily pointing up in the air as if to reinforce the connection between what he said and the announcement. It took a moment for the sound of Alex’s name to register through his head, but as he understood what was happening his face quickly morphed into a look of utter horror.

“Oh god, Panda, no. I can’t- this is not what I- uh… ah!”

Alex once again was unable to fully form his thoughts before being interrupted by an insane force of nature; that force of nature, instead of a boisterous karaoke host, was now a large black and white bear pulling him toward the stage despite his protests.

They made their way up to the platform, the introductory applause from the audience eliciting a smile from Panda and blocking out all other thoughts other than what he was about to do. He picked up the microphones and absentmindedly handed one to Alex. Fiddling with his own, Panda muttered to his stage partner under his breath.

“Alright, this song was inescapable a few years back so I know you know it. You can go ahead and start it off and I’ll come in in a little bit.”

Taking a breath, he turned his attention towards the audience and started tapping his foot as the opening synths of “Call Me Maybe” began. As the countdown ended, he lifted his microphone to his mouth and watched as the first lyrics flashed across the screen only to be met with silence. Panda faltered a bit at that and quickly turned to Alex.

Looking back at him was a young adult who seemed to be on the verge of a panic attack, fiery shades of red slowly, but continuously, creeping up his face. Panda’s mind immediately went into overdrove and he started taking over the vocal work of the song. At first, the whole performance threatened to fall apart even more as the look on Alex’s face messed with his nerves, but as the chorus kicked in, Panda couldn’t be any deeper into his comfort zone. Much to his surprise, he heard an added vocal layer around the midst of the song’s bridge.

Turning his head, Alex still didn’t seem any less nervous than he was before, but he had gotten himself to the point where he could at least give an attempt, and said attempt wasn’t lost on the audience who quickly gave out scattershot cheers. Once the song ended and they had received their applause, Alex left the stage with what he had hoped was a seemingly normal speed while Panda followed close behind.

They broke through the last line of tables and found themselves back in the hubbub of the crowds parading up and down the main street. Alex quickly turned around and fixed Panda with a look that filled Panda with a small wave of guilt.

“No offense, Panda, but what the hell was that?”

“I’m sorry! You seemed so excited about karaoke that I figured performing was just another part of it for you; something fun we could both share in. I mean, no offense, but you’ve always just come across to me as someone who was so self-assured and confident. You never really seemed like the type that would get crippling stage fright…” Panda trailed off.

Alex sighed and his facial expression softened. “Don’t you remember that presentation I gave? The one you snuck into? That wasn’t exactly an academy award winning job. I mean yeah, I may come off as a certain way personality wise, but no one is that completely one dimensional. We’ve all got our quirks and seeming contradictions, it’s what makes us human, and, er… bear, but, you know, honestly… I guess I can’t really say anything. I never really saw you as the ‘get up on stage and karaoke’ type either,” he finished. Panda returned a smug expression and attempted to match Alex’s tone.

“Come on, Alex, not all of us are so completely one dimensional,” he teasingly mocked, a smile growing ever wider on his face as he realized just how terrible his imitation Alex was.

“Oh, shut up. You made your point,” Alex replied with a laugh, giving Panda another playful arm tap with his fist. “So now that we’ve got one activity out of the way, what do you want to next?”

Panda was about to pull out the festival’s itinerary when a wail from further down the street caught his attention. From what he could see, it appeared a parent was attempting to calm down their crying child in front of what looked like an old, rundown warehouse.

“What do you think’s going on over there? Everything alright?” He asked, turning to Alex who also seemed to be wondering the same thing.

“I don’t know, maybe he… wait, is that… ha! It is!” Alex said, his voice raising an octave or two out of excitement.

“What? What is it?” Panda asked with even more confusion.

“See that warehouse they’re standing in front of? Every year they set it up during Oktoberfest as kind of a haunted maze that they construct. The kid must have gone through it and found it was probably a little too much for his liking,” he finished. He looked back to Panda as devilish grin slowly sprawled itself across his face. “We should totally go inside.”

“No, absolutely not!” Panda shot back almost immediately. “Do you not remember that we are currently seeing someone crying over it? It’s gotta be pretty bad in there…”

“Panda, he’s like seven years old. I doubt it took much to get him to that point. I mean look at the kid next to him. I doubt he’s more than a few years older and he looks bored out of his mind. I think it’ll be fun.”

“I don’t know…”

“Please? You owe me at least a tiny bit after the whole karaoke fiasco,” Alex begged, giving Panda a near perfect puppy dog eyes.

‘Ugh, there’s no way in hell I could say no to a face like that…’ Panda thought, the fur on the back of his neck bristling up. He gave short, aggravated moan.

“Fine,” he replied, “but if it gets too scary in there, don’t even think that I won’t hesitate to leave you behind.” Alex stuck his tongue out at him.

“That’s a risk I’m willing to take,” Alex said, “so come on, the line’s not that long right now.”

It only took a few minutes before they were through the warehouse entrance and the found themselves at the beginning of a winding maze. The door slammed shut behind them, shrouding them in a hazy light supplied by rusted lanterns placed at random intervals down the path ahead of them.

“See, this isn’t so bad,” Alex quipped.

“Speak for yourself,” Panda replied, a shiver already itching its way up his spine. “I feel like I’ve just entered Dante’s first circle…” 

They began making their way down the path, screams from patrons further down the maze from them reverberated off the walls and added to the already macabre atmosphere. As they turned each corner and passed each poorly lit room, Panda became more and more proud of himself. Throughout each fright, each jump scare, each sight of pretend horror and violence, he had managed to relatively keep his cool. Even if he had screamed more than what normal vocal chords allowed, he was still able to keep up with Alex’s pace.

“Y-you know, you were right, t-this isn’t so bad. I think I can even see the exit over the tops of the walls,” Panda said as they entered a new room.

“’Not so bad’ says the bear who I’m pretty sure has broken the sound barrier at least three times since we’ve been in here,” Alex teased.

“Hey, I think I’ve done pretty well for myself. I’ve even started anticipating them at this point. I mean look at the hooded lady sitting in the far corner over there. We have to pass her to get to the next hall, and once we get too close she’s obviously gonna jump out at us, watch.”

They cautiously began to approach her, Panda doing so with bated breath as he was about to learn whether his hypothesis was correct or not. They were getting closer: five feet, four feet, two feet… and… nothing?

“Huh?” Panda grunted as he scratched his head. He bent down to look at the dummy before him who sat there as if frozen in time. “Having her jump up and scare us seemed like such a typical thing to do. Maybe she was supposed to-“ A scream suddenly erupted from directly behind Panda, causing him to turn around in fright where he came face to face with another shrouded figure. ‘Of course,’ he inwardly groaned, ‘the first woman was just a decoy.’

His instincts kicked in and he nearly matched her volume with his own screams of terror. He barreled out of the room, the sound of Alex laughing fading in the distance as he ran. After what seemed like an almost never ending hallway, Panda finally turned a corner and paused to catch his breath. It was only a few moments later that his ears began to twitch as they picked up the sound of approaching footsteps.

Remembering how Alex had reacted to his moment of fright, he figured it might be time for a little bit of payback. He flattened himself against the wall and waited for what he hoped was the right moment. Alex called out his name, and from how close it sounded Panda knew that he would be there at any second. 

Extending his claws and rearing his lips back into a snarl, Panda jumped out from behind the corner and gave what he hoped was at least a halfway decent roar. He must have hit the mark because the next thing he knew, he saw a screaming Alex falling backwards onto the ground. His roar soon gave way to laughter as Alex shot him one of the dirtiest looks he thought he’d ever received. However, seeing the bear bent over from laughing caused Alex to start chuckling himself.

“That wasn’t funny, Panda. You could have seriously messed me up.”

Panda wiped away at a tear before attempting to speak in between short, rapid breaths, “If it wasn’t funny than why am I laughing so hard?”

“Because you’re a jerk, obviously,” Alex jokingly replied.

“Says the one who was laughing at me earlier in my time of need,” Panda shot back. “I mean, no offense, but you really should have seen the look on your face. I swear it was like-.” The sudden revving of an engine in the distance caused Panda to pause mid-sentence. Turning around, the pair gasped as they saw a masked man running at them from the previous hallway, a live chainsaw angrily squealing away in his hands.

They both let out a yell and immediately took off at a break neck pace, not stopping until they had reached what was hopefully the exit a few moments later and quickly burst through it. The sudden intensity of the sunlight that greeted them caused them to falter. They slowly came to a halt and took a few minutes to catch their breath, giving their bodies time to readjust back to the outside world. They turned to look at each other nearly simultaneously; Panda still with a look of fright and Alex with grin that threatened to nearly consume his entire face.

“See, like I said, not so bad.”

“Never again,” Panda replied.

“Fair enough, but you know you had fun,” Alex said with a smile. He pulled their copy of the Oktoberfest brochure from his back pocket and glanced over the activity list. He took a breath, “Now, I know I offered this last time before we got sidetracked with… that,” he nodded his head back in the direction of the warehouse, “but really, is there anything you want to do? I’m starting to feel like I’ve turned this into a ‘me’ trip.”

“Dude, you’re fine,” Panda said, “it doesn’t really matter to me what we do. I just like getting to hang out with you. I mean, I guess if I had to pick something it would probably be…” His voice trailed off as he took the leaflet from Alex’s hand and finally gave the schedule a serious look over. Nothing really seemed to interest him all that specifically. As far as he could tell, the festival was basically comprised of overpriced crafts and food tents and…

“Lot 83.”

“What was that?” Alex asked.

“Do you mind if we go visit lot 83?” Panda inquired.

“Uh, yeah sure. Who reserved that spot?”

“You’ll see, it’s not that far from here,” Panda replied.

It was only about a three minute walk before Panda spotted it. It was a purple and white tent with a sign reading ‘Pet Shoppe’ placed across the front with another sign seated next to it saying ‘Adopt-a-Palooza’. A desk was set up just inside the entrance with stacks and stacks of paper and pens scattered all over it. Beyond that, several cribs were lined along the booth’s back wall containing what he knew would be an assortment of puppies and kittens.

Panda gave a short hello to the woman seated behind the desk and quickly joined the throng of people currently fawning over the assortment of small, fluffy animals.

“You know, I’ve always wanted a pet to call my own. My brother actually brought home a hermit crab once and-” Panda turned his head to where he imagined Alex would be only to find an empty space instead. He looked back with confusion at the tent’s entrance to see that Alex was still a good ten feet away from the pavilion, a look of anguish plastered across his face.

Walking back towards him, nothing seemed to change. Even when Panda was inches from him, it took him calling Alex’s name a few times before Panda finally broke whatever stupor he seemed to be under.

“Huh? What?” Alex jerked his head towards Panda and looked around as if he was trying to suddenly remember where he was. “So… you wanted to come by the pet tent?”

“Yeah, the store its advertising was a shop my brothers and I used to, uh… visit from time to time when we were cubs. The place kinda means a lot to me…” Panda paused for a moment as flashes of memories hazily brought themselves to the front of his mind. He quickly shook them away, however, as Alex currently seemed to be the more pressing concern. “Are you alright, though? You look like you just saw a ghost or something…”

“Well we were just at that haunted warehouse.”

“I’m being serious. You need to tell me if something’s wrong.” Panda said, worry becoming more and more evident in his voice.

“It’s nothing, really, I promise. This whole adoption event just kinda brings up some bad memories for me. We had a dog that we adopted once when I was really little; we took care of him for years. It was almost like he was a part of the family, as if he was on equal footing with me and my sister. Well one day he managed to get out of the house and we never saw him again. We were all really upset about it.”

“Oh, I’m really sorry to hear that,” Panda said, “I wouldn’t have brought you over here if I had known that.”

“Don’t worry about it, honestly. I’m fine,” Alex replied, giving a soft smile along with it that Panda found reassuring. 

Suddenly, a ringtone cut through the air between them and the pocket of Alex’s jacket began to vibrate.

“Hold on,” he said. He fished out his phone and began reading over what Panda assumed was a text he had just received. Alex seemed to offer an exasperated sigh as confirmation.

“I really hate to cut this short, Pan-Pan, but my parents need me back at the restaurant; something about an earlier than expected dinner rush…” he mumbled.

“No, it’s cool. I probably needed to head out soon anyway. I didn’t tell my brothers I would be gone this long.”

A look of remembrance dashed across Alex’s face at their mention.

“Speaking of siblings, wanna help me out while having another excuse to hang out again?”

“Yeah, of course. What’s up?” Panda responded.

“Well seeing as how Halloween is in a few days, my parents are doing their usual thing of going to a party with friends of theirs. That usually leaves me in charge of my sister as she goes trick-or-treating. I was wondering if maybe you’d want to go with us?”

“Definitely! I’d love to. It’s been so long since I’ve done that, it’d be nice to do it again,” Panda said.

“What? Follow little girls around that you barely know?” Alex joked.

“…You know what I meant,”

“Sure, Pan-Pan, sure…” he said with an over the top wink. “Seriously though, if you really want to come I’ll text you later about it, but for now I really gotta get going. Thanks for hanging out with me today; I had a lot of fun,” he finished.

“I had a lot of fun with you too, dude. See ya,” he said back with a wave and a smile. Alex merely nodded his head as he turned around and began running back towards the direction of his house.

It wasn’t until Alex had left his line of vision that Panda put his focus back towards the Pet Shoppe. The agonized look of Alex’s face replayed itself over and over again in Panda’s mind, replacing his nostalgia of the store with a newfound sense of unease. Even though he felt Alex’s story wasn’t particularly any of his business, he couldn’t help but wonder if that was really all there was to it.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Panda awoke from his nap with a stretch, hoping it would help relieve some of the tiredness he still felt weighing down on him. He knew that once his body was accustomed to being awake again he’d appreciate it; he wasn’t sure how late he’d be out for Halloween tonight and so he felt the rest would offset any sleepiness he might feel later on. 

Looking at his phone, he realized he had slept a little longer than he had expected, and as a result had accrued a few text messages from Alex. Even though the screen was blurry as hell, he managed to fire off a quick ‘be there soon’ response before finally crawling out of bed to get ready. He reached over to his bedside table for his contacts only to find that there was nothing there. He bent down to the floor, wondering if they had accidentally fallen off during his slumber. After a few minutes of searching, he stood up and was once again empty pawed.

“Hey Grizz!” he shouted, “have you seen my contacts? I thought I left them here next to my bed but I can’t find them.”

“Oh, uh, yeah, funny story about that Pan-Pan…” Grizz shouted back from the other room.

‘Oh god…’ he thought to himself. “What did you do, Grizz?”

“Well, you know, since its Halloween and all, that got me thinking about costumes and stuff. Well I was looking around on the internet and I thought it would be really cool to get colored contacts and I thought, you know, why not practice putting them on? So I sorta borrowed yours…”

“Grizz! That was my last pair until my new prescription comes in! What did you do with them?” Panda cried. He heard the door to his room open and a fuzzy, brown blob entered his room. Panda grew even more worried as he could just make out that Grizz was holding a paw over one of his eyes.

“Well like I said, I practiced putting them on in front of the bathroom mirror. I got the first one on without a hitch which I think made me a little over confident because, well, the second one didn’t go over so well. I went a little too fast and didn’t place it right. I dropped it and I swear I tried to find it but I couldn’t. It wasn’t until later that I heard our little bro in the bathroom and I realized that it might have accidentally fallen into the, uh…”

“YOU THINK YOU DROPPED MY CONTACT IN THE TOILET?” Panda shouted, nearly gagging at the thought of it.

“I’m sorry, bro! I swear it was an accident. I’ll make it up to you somehow. I’ll-“

“I’m supposed to meet my classmates for a Halloween party in a little bit! What am I supposed to do if I can’t even see?” Panda asked.

“You could always…” Grizz started before trailing off.

“Ugh, that’s looking like my only option isn’t it…”

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Panda only had to wait a few minutes after ringing the doorbell for Alex to open the door.  
“Hey, Panda, what’s-,“ Alex’s face twitched as he tried (but mostly failed) to keep his facial expression blank and emotionless. Panda stood before him  
with a look of irritation; a large pair of old fashioned glasses perched on his nose being the source of his anguish. “Y-you doing alright?”

Panda sighed, “Go ahead, let it out.”

“You’re looking a little different. D-did you-,” Alex finally let out a snicker. “Did you get a haircut or something?”

“Hahaha,” Panda deadpanned in response, “you’re hilarious.”

“Any particular reason you ditched the contacts and decided to go for an 1820’s antique look?”

“It’s a story I’d rather not get into… Is your sister ready?”

“Almost,” Alex replied, “I take it you’re not going in costume?”

“I didn’t exactly have time to get anything together,” Panda replied. “Blue shirt and darker blue shorts… I take it you’re going as Finn?”

“Yep, just gotta get the hat and backpack and I’m ready, but come on, you can’t go trick or treating as nothing. I mean with your glasses you could probably… Oh, I know! Wait a second, I’ll be right back.”

Alex dashed up to his room and was back within moments, his costume finished and an assortment of items held in his arms. His small attempt at a protest ignored, Panda suddenly felt a zigzagged line being applied to the middle of his forehead fur. A gold and scarlet scarf was loosely wound around his neck and a long, slender piece of wood was thrust into his hand.

“Harry Potter?” Panda asked.

“Yeah, why not?” Alex shrugged, “it was something quick and honestly you look pretty cute in it.”

The heat that rushed to Panda’s face at that comment was nearly volcanic.

“Oh, t-t-thanks. You, uh look really great in your costume too,” Panda replied, his face awkwardly shifting down to avoid eye contact.

Alex only gave a smile in response before turning his head back towards the inside of his house, “Sophie, where are you?”

“I’m coming,” a cry came from upstairs, immediately followed by a rush of footsteps bounding down the stairs. A little girl of about eleven in a blue wig and green dress soon joined them; her face and arms had been covered in yellow body paint. “And I’m Joy tonight, Alex, not that other name.”

“Sure, sure, sure,” Alex laughed, “now come on, and don’t forget to stay close to us.” At the ‘us’, she turned her head as if she just noticed Panda was there with them.

“Oh, hey bear! Are you one of my brother’s nerd characters too?”

“Oh please, you love Harry Potter,” Alex said.

“I know,” his little sister replied, “I was just poking fun, no need to get in a tizzy.”

“I wasn’t in a tizzy, I was just- ugh, whatever. Come on, you’re gonna miss all the good candy if we just keep standing here.” 

She let out at a gasp and her eyes went wide as she imagined the horror of a night full of leftover raisin boxes and crayon packets, “Come on, come on, come on! Let’s go then!” she cried before taking off down the steps and onto the street. Alex flashed Panda a quick grin as they followed her down the street and out into the throngs of costumed parents and children.

The next couple of hours went about as smoothly as they possibly could. The trio made their way around several of the blocks near Alex’s house, enjoying the energy of the night and laughing and cutting up while Sophie went from house to house. At this point, Panda had been regaling Alex with a tale about his brothers.

“-And so the next thing I know, my brother and I are running out of the house with Grizz’s burrito above our heads. Let me tell you, even with the thing wrapped up, its smell alone was nearly enough to knock me out.”

“I wouldn’t have been able to handle it,” Alex chuckled. “I mean, how long did you say he’d been carrying it out around?”

“I can’t really remember exactly. I’d say maybe somewhere in the ball park of around-,” Panda wasn’t able to finish his thought before he felt a huge weight slam into his back which elicited a yelp from him. It caught him off guard, and the next thing he knew he found himself sprawled out on the sidewalk, a shot of pain coursing through his arm as he landed on top of it and his glasses flew off his face. He heard a quickly shouted apology and a wave of footsteps rushing past him followed by what he thought was a crunch.

“Hey! Watch where you’re going asshats!” he heard Alex shout from above him before he felt a pair of hands grip him from under his other arm. “Oh god, Panda, are you okay?”

He stood up and took a few ragged breaths before attempting a response. “Y-yeah. I fell on my arm and it hurts b-but I think it’s gonna be ok,” he said, hoping the tears stinging the edges of his eyes didn’t come through in his voice. “W-wait, where are my glasses?”

Alex bent down and picked them up, or at least what was left of them after having been stepped on by whoever the group was chasing the kid that knocked into Panda. Alex handed them to him who felt over them with one of his paws; the left lens was missing and he felt huge cracks webbed all throughout the right one. The frame was twisted and bent in almost every direction.

“Great, just great…” Panda said, a tear finally following out onto his cheek. “What am I supposed to do now? I can barely see, how am I going to get home? It’s too dark out in the woods and-,” he paused as he felt a hand slip into his paw and give it a light squeeze.

“It’s gonna be alright, Pan, I’ll take you home. J-just think of me as your seeing eye person for Halloween instead,” Alex joked in a way he hoped was reassuring. Panda felt his cheeks go warm as it dawned on him that they were currently holding hands. It was something he had never done before with someone close to him other than his brothers, and while Alex was simply doing it to help him out, it still made Panda nervous.

“Guys, you won’t believe what Mrs. Robinson just gave me. She-,” Sophie had returned from the house she was currently trick or treating at and stopped as she took in the sight of the two of them. “Oh, I had no idea you guys were ready to take that next step,” Alex’s sister teased. “I was wondering when you two were going to make it official.”

Panda’s head shot up in her direction, “What? N-n-n-n-no! I-I just lost my glasses and he’s helping me. You’re brother and I are just really good friends is all, haha.” He awkwardly laughed and turned to look at Alex who he thought would join in with him. Even with his terrible vision, Panda swore he saw Alex roll his eyes in irritation.

“No need to get so defensive, Panda. She was just messing with you.” He turned toward her direction, “You about ready to go? Mom and dad should be back by now and I need to take him home.”

“Uh, sure,” she replied softly noticing the tone shift in her brother. 

They walked back home in relative silence, finally dropping off his sister back at their home after telling her to explain the situation to their parents before making their way towards Panda’s den. He was still wondering about Alex’s reaction before he heard him speak up again.

“So is your arm still alright?” he asked.

Panda’s ears perked up at having been addressed, “Yeah, still kinda sore but it’s gonna be fine… Take a left up here, I think. It shouldn’t be much farther.” 

They kept walking along the path, bits of small conversation bouncing between them until they eventually saw the dim lights of the den flickering in the distance. They finally made it to the door and separated as they gave their goodbyes.

“I’m really sorry about tonight Alex. I know this isn’t exactly what you had planned and I didn’t mean for you to go out of your way like this. I just-“

“Panda, it’s okay. You didn’t cause any of this; you have nothing to apologize over. I had a lot of fun, honestly. If anything, I should thank you for coming in the first place. Watching my sister can sometimes be a two person job, especially on a night like tonight. You helped me out a lot.” Panda smiled and was about to attempt a hug when they were both illuminated by a sudden bright light.

“Panda, you’re back! I thought I heard voices out here,” Grizz said as he stood in the doorway to their home. “Oh, hey! Is this one of your classmates? Nice to meet you, the name’s Grizz,” he finished while he extended a paw.

“Uh, yeah the name’s Alex, nice to meet you too,” he replied as he shook Grizz’s paw with his hand. “Panda’s told me a lot about you. We, uh, had a bit of an accident while we were out so I offered to take Panda home, and uh, well, here we are,” he chuckled.

“An accident?” Grizz asked, turning from Alex to Panda. “Is everything alright? Where are your glasses?”

“I’ll tell you in a little bit. It’s getting late as it is and Alex probably needs to get home,” Panda said, looking to Alex as best he could. “I had a lot of fun tonight with you too. Please be safe getting home.”

“Don’t sweat it Pan,” he grinned, “I think I’ll make it back in one piece. See ya later,” Alex said as he waved, putting his back towards Panda as he began making his trek back home through the woods, “and don’t forget to look over the stuff for the next lesson. There’ll be a quiz.”

See ya!” Panda called back as he made his way through the door before Grizz closed it shut behind him.

“I’m glad to see you two had an eventful night,” Grizz mumbled as he began inspecting the scrape on Panda’s elbow, “you should have just called us, we would have come and gotten you.”

“I know, but he seemed really insistent, and I think he felt a little guilty that I got hurt in the first place,” Panda replied, hissing as jolt of pain shot through his arm due to his brother’s prodding.

“Well I’m just thankful he was there to help you out with whatever happened. He seemed like a pretty cool guy,” Grizz said as he finished assessing the extent of Panda’s injuries. “Now sit still while I go get some bandages.”

He left Panda alone in the room as he made his way quickly towards the medicine cabinet in their bathroom. In his sudden isolation, Panda tried to test how far he could bend his elbow before it started to hurt too badly. He stopped after a few attempts once he reassured himself that the damage to his left arm was only minimal, his other arm however…

He turned his attention to his right paw, the physical memory of being curled around Alex’s hand earlier that night still causing it to tingle. Though he’d never admit it out loud, somewhere deep inside of him he sort of wished that it could have lasted longer.

“Yeah,” Panda mumbled to himself as Grizz finally walked back into the room, “he’s a pretty great guy.”


	6. Home

Panda nervously rubbed his paws together. He absentmindedly turned his attention back to the tv and to the game he was playing, clumsily running headfirst into a mob of enemies that made quick work of his character on the screen. It didn't even faze him, however. It was a different sort of character that currently commanded the entirety of his thoughts.

He sat the controller down on the coffee table before him and twisted himself on the couch, contorting into a kneeling position on one of the cushions so as to face the living room window that was situated behind him. The wind blowing through the natural flora animated the landscape outside the cave, but no other signs of life were detectable.

"Where is he, where is he, where is he?" Panda groaned out loud. It had been about a week since they had made plans for Alex to come over and meet his brothers, well at least a meeting that would last more than a few seconds. He picked up his phone and pulled up his texting app.

" _Alex: Alright, on my way :)"_ **Thirty minutes ago.**

' _He should be here by now'_ Panda thought to himself, nibbling at one of his extended claws in agitation as he turned his view back to the window. After another couple of minutes with no new developments, he sighed and sank back into the couch in a sitting position. A white figure out of the corner of his eye however, one that hadn't been there earlier, caused him to audibly jump in his seat due to his already mounting nerves.

"W-what are you doing? You know I don't like it when you or Grizz just sneak up like that…" he timidly huffed. The younger white bear simply stood there as if nobody had spoken to him. He held his line of vision forward, his face unrelenting as if he was looking right through Panda. He slightly turned his head to the window that Panda had just been frantically staring through before turning his gaze back to his older brother. Panda tensed up, wondering how much of his earlier display had been seen.

"S-seriously, what are you looking at me for? Grizz still isn't back yet and Alex should be here soon, I guess… I don't know…" He was hoping his facial expression and tone would be enough of a hint to be left alone while he waited. Ice Bear, perception still as sharp as ever, merely blanked his eyes at his black and white sibling before shuffling out of the doorway and heading towards the direction of the kitchen.

Panda grimaced, and his stomach twisted into more knots at the thought of what he must have looked like draped over the back of the couch, huffing about his soon to be guest. It was especially unnerving knowing he had been spotted in the act when he had thought he had been left to his own devices. At least he could breathe easier knowing it was his quieter sibling. In truth the majority of his tensions, while granted were partly due to Alex in general, had more to do with the bear that didn't see him rather than the one who did.

Grizz, currently out on a grocery run, happened to be a bit… boisterous, most of the time to a fault. Of course he was viewed as endearing by most of the people that knew him. He always managed to have a smile plastered across his face and constantly offered his paw in assistance to anyone that needed it, but at the same time there were moments where he could come off a bit strong, especially to those who hadn't grown accustomed to him yet. Panda also couldn't help but take into account how his older brother seemed to dote on him quite often, even more so in front of guests. The latter trait was a gold mine for potentially embarrassing circumstances.

Rationally, he knew he didn't really have that much to worry about it. If anything, Grizz and Alex's personalities would probably work in tandem and amplify one another, much to Panda's chagrin. That thought process offered little in helping ease his worries, however. He had always viewed bringing over someone with the specific intent of meeting family as a big ordeal, and even if had reserved those ideals for more of a romantic situation, Alex was still a friend he cared a great deal about. For him, this signaled a new step in their friendship that he still couldn't help but want to go perfectly.

Part of that perfect plan involved Alex arriving before Grizz did, allowing Panda some control over the situation before Grizz had the chance to send things from zero to a hundred. At the very least, it also would give Panda some semblance of one on one time with Alex since he didn't necessarily have to worry about his other brother being too intrusive or noisy. Especially since part of their scheduled plans for the evening did involve some genuine study time, something that would require at least some modicum of a peaceful atmosphere.

Panda reached for his phone once more, the screen still lit with his and Alex's conversation log which now signaled that the last message had been received thirty seven minutes ago. On a whim, he tapped the bubble situated next to Alex's name at the top left corner of the screen. In a flash, their texts melted away only to be replaced with the contact photo Panda had chosen for him.

It had been taken only a couple of weeks after they had first begun hanging out, when Alex had invited Panda to take a trip with him to the aquarium and visit his friend Ashley who had just recently been hired there. Like a child, Alex had tunneled through most of the initial exhibits until they had reached his favorite; the otter habitat. He had had his body plastered to the glass barrier as they watched the aquatic creatures funnel through the water like furry torpedoes.

After what seemed like an eternity, Alex had finally shifted his focus away from them before pulling out his phone and dashing towards the nearest fellow patron. The next thing Panda knew, he had one of Alex's arms wrapped around his shoulder while an elderly woman took a picture of the two of them in front of the otter tank. It wasn't until they reviewed the photo later that they noticed that two of the otters were lovingly nuzzling their noses together in the water space directly above them.

Panda couldn't help but find the moment special, especially since he knew how much Alex loved otters, and once the photo had been sent to him, Panda had immediately placed it as Alex's contact image.

He was still reminiscing about that day when a vibration from his phone brought him back to the present. A notification at the top of his phone indicated that he had just gotten a new text message.

" _Alex: I can see why you're staring at me so intently. Contrary to Ashley's opinion, I'm definitely cuter than our little fuzzy friends above us. ;)"_ **Just now.**

"Wha-?" Panda attempted to think aloud before a series of taps from behind caused him to turn his body around back towards the window where he now found himself making eye contact with the real Alex. With a stifled gasp, he dropped his phone to the floor and nearly fell off of the couch. Using a speed that he rarely ever exhibited, he jumped up and instinctively pulled the blinds together. The sudden sight of his friend disappeared behind a flash of burgundy fabric, silencing the already muffled 'Hey!' He heard coming from the other side.

Panda's heart was racing about a mile a minute, each beat like an earthquake sending new waves of tremors throughout his body. He quickly picked his phone back up from off the floor, the photo he had apparently been staring at still illuminated as bright as ever on the screen.

' _Crap, crap, crap! Is there a target plastered to my back? Is there some sign I can't see above me saying 'Please sneak up on the easily startled panda bear'? And of course THAT had to be what he saw me doing…'_ he thought to himself, his mind nearly matching the velocity of his heart. After the few more seconds it took for a majority of the initial shock to die down, he slowly reached his paws back up to the curtains and pulled them apart.

The scene before him, to his surprise, had reverted back to its normal state of Alex-lessness. Panda pressed his face to the window, wondering if he had hidden somewhere below it when a knock at the door answered that question for him.

"Coming!" Panda yelled, more to ward off his younger brother from answering it than to alert Alex that he was on his way. He slowed down once he reached the door, exhaled what he hoped was a calming sigh, and opened it.

"Hey, what's up? Glad you remembered the way here," Panda greeted with a chuckle. He knew he would be unsuccessful in trying to start everything normally, though he couldn't help but at least attempt. As if his mind was being read, Alex immediately shot down those hopes.

"Uh, yes, I'm looking for my friend Panda. He's this nice, caring bear that isn't terrified at the mere sight of me. Do you know which cave he lives at?"

Panda merely rolled his eyes in response.

"You're hysterical. First off, I'm not terrified of your looks. Second of all-"

"Oh, I know," Alex interrupted, "I just wanted to mess with you. The way you were looking at that pic of us told me all I needed to know about that."

"...Second of all, shut up."

Like a five year old, Alex stuck his tongue out in rebuttal. He reached up a hand and ruffled the top of Panda's head fur, sending an almost imperceptible jolt from where his fingertips made contact. Ignoring it, Panda stepped aside as to allow his guest to enter the cave.

"So is it just the two of us for right now? From what you've told me I can't imagine Grizz is here if it's this quiet," Alex joked. He had already placed his backpack down in the bears' living room floor and removed his light gray scarf that he had worn as a barrier from the chilly November winds before turning his attention to a photo of the three siblings that had caught his eye.

"Well, not exactly. I mean yeah, Grizz isn't here, but my little brother is in the kitchen getting everything set up for dinner. So I figured for now we could just- hey!" Panda cut himself off midsentence as he noticed Alex had suddenly dashed out of the room with a grin sprawled all over his face. He quickly followed him into the kitchen where he found his friend already settling into a conversation with his younger sibling.

"So you're the talented chef I've heard all the whispers about…" Alex only got a blink in response before he turned his attention to Panda whose nerves had now risen about two fold. "I don't know if you know this Pan, but the restaurant your brother works at, Belyy Tigr, almost went out of business before he applied and basically turned everything around. Nowadays you're lucky if your wait to get in lasts less than an hour and a half. He's been the talk of the town in many local food circles for how fast he rose to head chef."

"Wait, really?" Panda asked, an incredulous tone far more evident in his voice than he had hoped. "I knew the place he works at had gotten pretty popular recently, but I didn't know all of that," he spoke the last part out in a hushed whisper, his brother now standing before him in somewhat of a new light. He knew that his sibling was a hard worker, but even that was beyond what he had expected.

He was lost in thought for a moment before he noticed that both pairs of eyes were on him and a silence had filled the space between the three. With a sudden realization at the lack of reciprocated introductions, Panda quickly shook his head and barreled into that void, "O-oh, uh, by the way this is my friend Alex. You know the uh, classmate from the G.E.D. classes…" he finished with a nervous chuckle.

"It's honestly really exciting to meet someone as talented as you, especially since now I know I'm finally getting to taste your food as well. I probably won't be able to keep any of my thoughts about the meal tonight to myself, so I apologize for my annoyingness in advance," Alex gushed as he extended one of his hands towards the polar bear.

The bear merely looked at it and turned his gaze towards his older brother who now fidgeted as if he had just been slipped under a microscope. The youngest bear looked back to Alex before placing his own paw into Alex's hand with a small smile, "Ice Bear is pleased to meet you as well."

Panda's nose twitched almost reflexively at the scene before him, the tension he felt finally lowering somewhat now that the meeting of brother one had gone well enough. Probably even more for the fact that he was no longer the recipient of his brother's soul excavating stare downs.

He cleared his throat in the hopes of getting at least Alex's attention, "So, uh, now that that's out of the way, would you mind if we started looking over the class assignments?"

Alex broke off his attention from the now food preparing polar bear to give an earnest odd. "Yeah, of course. Just go ahead and find some place comfortable to set up shop while I get what we need out of my bag."

They both walked into the living room side by side before breaking apart to fulfill their specific duties. Panda managed to find a few of his pencils that still contained lead and a stack of paper before laying them out on the coffee table he had moved to the corner of the room he had sequestered just for this activity. He planted himself on the floor at one end of the table with Alex joining him as his opposite merely moments later.

"Alright, so here's today's game plan. First you're gonna go through a couple of quizzes for practice, math and science, and I figure after that we can use the rest of the time to do more on your history lessons seeing as how we still have the farthest to go in that. I'm thinking we can handle at least a solid chunk of the Louisiana Purchase, but for now let's focus more on this quizzes. Let's go with math first, it's about 35 questions so I'll give you… 25 minutes this time."

"What? 25 minutes?" Panda asked with a whine. "That's 5 less minutes than last time and I barely finished."

"That's what practice is for Pan-Pan, to get better as you push yourself with more and more limits. Besides, focus more on getting the right answer than finishing them all. It's what matters more."

"Fine," he huffed, "just tell me when you want me to- hey!"

"You know the drill," Alex began, reaching over the table and swapping Panda's phone with a rudimentary calculator before he could react, "you have to treat our sessions like it's the real thing, hence no smartphone math apps."

"Whatever," Panda scoffed, rolling his eyes as he situated his work space before him. "Just start the timer so we can get this out of the way."

"Alright, and… go," Alex announced, tapping the start icon of his phone's timer and sending his black and white table mate into a frenzied mind rush of algebra and geometry. Within a few minutes, the bear had found his rhythm.

"… _ok so if I multiply everything out of the parentheses, then I should have-"_

**CLICK**

However, it only took one second of noise to send him crashing out of it. Panda's head quickly flew up from his paper, his eyes immediately boring into the culprit sitting across from him who had been momentarily frozen in a pose for what he could only assume was a phone camera out of sight below the table. Said culprit immediately reverted back to his normal stance, only having an apologetic shrug to give in return.

"Seriously, Alex? You couldn't wait till I was finished with this? What are you even doing?"

"Sorry, Pan, I was in the midst of a Snapchat conversation with a friend and I forgot to put my phone on silence," he weakly responded. "I'll uh, give you a few more minutes for math to make up for that. Just try to finish what you can." Panda merely grumbled before refocusing on the set of papers before him.

Much to his relief, the rest of the testing went without a hitch. He made his way through the science portion of their session while Alex graded his math test, scoring the other once time had run out. Panda tapped his paw along the table's edge as he anxiously waited to see what he'd get back. He knew he was already fairly competent in the two subjects, but he still couldn't help but feel a little nervous about a potential slew of innocent mistakes he could have made. It wouldn't be the first time.

"Well," Alex began, looking towards Panda as he placed the cap back on his red pen, "on the surface you got about the same scores as last time, but coupled with the fact that you had less time to work with and one, uh, interruption to deal with, I'd definitely say that this is a case of improvement, even if by a little bit."

Panda relaxed a bit, thankful to note that his efforts were still leading him in the direction of growth.

"So now that we're finished with that, let's delve into the actual lesson material. To start off, do you know anything about the Louisiana Purchase or that time period?"

"Oh, uh, well I'm pretty sure there was, um," he stammered after having been caught off guard by the sudden question. "Lewis and Clark sort of come to mind. Am I in the right ball park? I think I saw some article about them online once a while back but that's all I can really remember, honestly."

"For the most part, yeah, actually. They had a big hand in the exploration of America in the very early 19th century. So at this point it's been about thirty years since the signing of the Declaration of Independence and-," Alex paused as a brief but loud knock reverberated throughout the cave, cutting him off midsentence. The knock descended into a few moments of silence before an exasperated but muffled voice sounded from the other side of the cave's entrance.

"Hey, bros, I could use a little help here," Grizz called out, hoping he had been loud enough to have been heard. Alex flashed Panda a quick smile and closed the history book he had brought.

"Maybe we should take a break for now," he quipped. They both picked themselves up from off the floor and made their way to the front door, Panda quietly slipping past Alex to make sure he arrived first. Once there, he twisted the doorknob and pulled back to reveal a mountain of paper and plastic sacks being supported by two brown furred arms and two such furred legs. The body and face of the bear to which they belonged to was currently hidden by the Babylonian tower of groceries he carried. It was a wonder he was able to knock on the door without the whole thing tumbling down, Panda thought.

"What the heck, Grizz? You know we were just picking up groceries for a guest and then the rest of the week, not stocking up for the apocalypse, right?" Panda asked, his tone a little exasperated.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, but I mean, this is the first time you've brought a friend over to the cave. I kinda got swept up in just making sure we had only the best for him, especially since he's helping you with your test and stuff."

Panda grumbled, "Come on, Grizz. You don't always have to say everything you know out loud… and I've had Chloe over here to you know."

"Well, yeah, but Chloe's all of our friend. This one's completely yours so it's a little different." Panda saw Alex's body shift out of the corner of his eye and turned to look at him where he now saw his companion staring back at him with a smirk cemented into his facial features.

"What?" Panda asked, his voice rising a little out of embarrassment from knowing that Alex was there listening to everything Grizz was saying.

"So I'm your super special first time friend, huh?" Alex asked him, gently nudging Panda's upper arm with his elbow. Panda merely scoffed in response, involuntarily rolling his eyes while a little bit of heat rose to his face at the way Alex asked the question.

"Oh, hey! Is he already here? It's Alex, right?" Grizz called out from his still precarious position as grocery carrier.

"Yep, I'm already here. Nice to see you again, Grizz," Alex replied, stepping forward to begin removing some of Grizz's load and heading to the kitchen which he assumed was the correct destination.

"Nice to see you to- well, uh, actually more like nice to hear you too, again. I'd give you a huge bear hug but my arms are still a little bit tied up at the moment," he responded back with a chuckle.

"Grizz…" Panda hissed, now taking his turn to remove some of the groceries from his brother's clutches, "you've only just really met the guy. You don't always have to be so physically affectionate from the get go."

"Alright, alright, Pan-Pan, no need to get into a tizzy over it. I was just trying to be welcoming is all," Grizz apologetically offered as a response, "but you know him better than I do so I'll try to hold back a bit if that stuff makes him uncomfortable. It's almost like you think I'm gonna scare him off or something."

Grizz's tone caused a jab of remorse to jolt through Panda's stomach, especially since for the most part his older sibling wasn't too far off the mark. He was starting to wonder if his fears about tonight were becoming overblown to a ridiculous point.

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. I'm sure he wouldn't have any problem with that. I- I just think I'm letting my nerves get to me and creating nightmare situations that aren't really there. I mean, you were right earlier, I've never really brought a friend of my own over here and I guess I'm just terrified of things screwing it up, but that doesn't mean I should take that out on you. I'm sure you two would get along fine. If anything, you two are almost like personality twins now that I think about it," Panda mumbled that last part to himself under his breath.

"I understand, bro. You've been a pretty introverted dude you're whole life, and even with this being San Francisco, it can be hard to meet people. You're nervous, and I get that, but this night can only go as well as you want it to. I know it's a little cliché, but all anyone can really ask of you is to just be yourself and be honest. Everything else will fall into place at that point. If Alex likes you, he likes you, and that's all there is to it."

Panda nearly dropped the items he was carrying as he started to head towards the kitchen.

"W-what are you talking about, Grizz? H-he's not into me like that all. We're just really good friends is all. What would even give you that impression?" Panda said, his voice rising in pitch and speed with each new word.

"Huh? What do you mean into you like that? I was just making a comment on y'alls friendship, nothing more than that… Are you alright?" Grizz asked with some hesitation. Inwardly, Panda felt as if his mind was going into meltdown mode at his unnecessary overreaction.

"What? Me? Yeah, everything's totally fine. I'm just really hungry is all. Probably making me go all loopy and whatnot haha… ha…" Panda finished with a forced, awkward laugh. He could imagine the doubt currently dancing around Grizz's inner thoughts, but to his relief his older brother decided not to press it any further.

"Oh, uh, yeah, sorry about that. I meant to be a home a lot earlier than this but I kinda got hung up on the way to the store." Grizz stated as the two entered into the kitchen area.

"You're late," Ice Bear admonished towards the eldest sibling as if to emphasize the point.

"Hung up with what? What were you doing?" Panda asked, his relief settling in at the quick change in subject.

Grizz paused for a moment before letting the multitude of sacks and bags he was carrying spill onto the kitchen table in a tidal wave. His previously hidden face now exposed, Panda could easily make out the vibrant swirls and patches of paint that were mixed in with the bear's fur.

"So one of the local Girl Scout troupes had a few face painting booths set up near the grocery store while they were selling cookies and I kinda got swept up in it… again."

Panda rolled his eyes while moving closer to inspect his older brother's face.

"Grizz… oh, geez. How many times do I have to remind you that our fur and paint don't mix?" Panda asked, sounding more sympathetic than annoyed.

"Sorry, I saw everyone walking around with cute little designs all over themselves and I just couldn't resist. Plus the brushes tickle and before I knew it I was like this," he sighed. "Give me a second, I'm gonna go wash all this stuff off."

Grizz rushed off to the bathroom, the sound of a shutting door indicating his arrival. Panda began sorting the groceries out onto the table when a cough from behind reminded him that, besides his younger brother, he wasn't the only one in the room.

"So, you're brother, he seems a bit…"

"Goofy?" Panda attempted to finish the thought, turning his head over his shoulder to get a better look at Alex.

"Charming. I was going to say charming," Alex said, his tone accented with a reassuring smile. "But now that all of that's sorted out, we should probably head back to your lessons."

"Oh yeah, I kinda forgot all about that," Panda mumbled, "just let me finish putting all of this away first and we can go." The pair swiftly began to navigate the confines of the kitchen, putting the newly bought provisions in their proper cabinets, cubbies, and fridge. Once completed, they informed the polar bear that they left what he needed to finish that night's meal on the table. He simply responded with a nod, the majority of his concentration already focused on the task before him.

Minutes later, the two found themselves once again seated at the living room's table, entrenched in a history lesson that, much to Panda's chagrin, he found he was having a hard time remembering.

"Alright, so who was the president at the time of the Louisiana Purchase?" Alex quizzed.

"Adams?" Panda answered without any attempt to hide the uncertainty in his voice.

"It was Jefferson," a gruff voice sounded from the direction of the bathroom. Turning his head, Panda could see Grizz standing near one the living room's entrances; most of the paint having been successfully removed from his face.

"Uh, yeah. Grizz is right," Alex said.

"What?!" Panda said, looking to Alex and then immediately back to Grizz. "How did you know that?" Grizz merely shrugged as he made his way over to the table.

"I don't know. Sometimes when there's nothing on to watch, I'll usually just go the history channel. Sure their pawn shop shows and stuff can be funny, but at times they actually show history stuff again. I remember them doing a program about Lewis and Clark a while back."

"And you still remember it?" Panda asked, feeling deflated at not having remembered the answer to information he had heard only about twenty minutes ago.

"Yeah, it's not hard when you think of little tricks to remember it with."

"Well," Alex began, looking to Panda for reassurance, "why don't you help me out then? I can continue with the lesson and you can show Panda what you did to learn it. If that's alright with him, that is."

"Yeah, it's fine," Panda mumbled in response.

"Sweet! Of course I'd love to help! I know how much this studying means to him so I'd be delighted to help my Pan-Pan in any way I can," he finished, sitting himself down on a non-occupied side of the table. For the next fifty minutes, the pair mapped out the relevant details of the purchase's major expedition in tandem to the middle bear sibling.

Much to Panda's surprise, Grizz's methods seemed to be working. At first he was doubtful that his older brother would be of any genuine use, but as he recalled the correct answer to more and more questions, he found himself impressed at how well Grizz was able to keep all of the info organized. Certainly more organized than he had ever kept his room.

"How long did their expedition last?"

"About two and a half years."

"Who was the Native American woman that accompanied them for most of it?"

"And her tribe she came from?"

"Shoshone."

"Beyond mapping the newly acquired territory, what were the other-?" the sound of a bell from the kitchen interrupted the remainder of Alex's question. With a face of bewilderment, he looked to the two bears for an explanation.

"It's what our little bro uses when he wants to tell us dinner's ready," Panda said.

"And it's not something you want to ignore. We, uh, learned that the hard way," Grizz added.

"Alright, alright, I understand," Alex chuckled, "I guess that's a decent place to stop for the day, especially considering how well you were doing Pan."

"Yeah, you were doing really great bro," Grizz echoed. "Now let's hurry up and go before he gets irritated and starts throwing everything away…"

* * *

"Ok, now I've gotta warn you guys. It may have been a while since I've played this game, but I can pick things back up pretty quick. You're gonna have a bad time if you think I'll go down easily," Alex grinned. Though he was playing up his confidence with a bit of bravado, Panda could see a bit of Alex's ego making its way through his words, and to be fair Panda knew it wasn't exactly misplaced. He had seen Alex work his way around online play for a multitude of games and knew he was pretty adept around a controller. Still, Panda, along with his brother, Grizz, were pretty familiar around a console themselves. They weren't going to make it easy for him.

The television screen before them flashed the main menu screen of Mario Kart 8 before disappearing with the press of a confirmation button. The four of them quickly went to choosing their characters and agreed on a mode of battle.

4 races.

150 cc.

CPU difficulty: hard.

"Alright, but don't start crying when we end up lapping you," Panda teasingly mumbled, receiving a soft but playful elbow jab from Alex. A moment later, the familiar sounds of the countdown timer began playing, the undercurrent of tension in the room swelling with each second. As the blue of the traffic light shown to indicate the start of the race, the characters on the screen dashed off under the commands of the players that controlled them.

A volley of weapons, speed, and taunts assaulted both Panda's eyes and ears. The fur on the back of his neck rose with anticipation as he maneuvered his kart around curves and obstacles, gaining momentum and passing players. Through it all, however, he started to hear sighs and grunts of frustrations, subtle mutterings of irritation that came from the player to his left sitting on a chair beside the couch, Alex.

Making sure he would be safe for the next few moments, he quickly shifted his eyes downward to the bottom of the screen and saw that his friend was only a couple of places above last place, with little hope of gaining a better position as they neared the end of the third lap. With the crossing of the finish line, Panda's assumption turned from prediction to fact. Panda finished 2nd, Grizz 4th, his little brother was 8th, and Alex rolled in at 10th place.

"You sure talk a big game for someone who just got their butt kicked," Grizz lobbed the taunt in Alex's direction, a look of satisfaction splayed across his face. Alex merely sat in silence, continuing to stare intently at the screen.

The lack of a rebuttal caused Panda to feel increasingly uneasy. Alex was the kind of person that always had a comeback ready on the tip of his tongue, the absence of his rebuttal made the frustrations of his loss seem that much more… intimidating. He had little time to think more about it, however, as the screen had already moved on to the next race, the beginning timer merely seconds away from starting.

Though the race began as casually as the previous one, Panda couldn't help but find himself continuously distracted. The occasional glance to his left began to unsettle him. Alex just sat there with the same, almost obsessive like focus towards the game he had shown when he had ignored Grizz merely moments ago. However, his eyes gave way to a vastly darkening emotional landscape just beneath the surface. His face no longer lit up with an edge of competitiveness, it now contorted with features of an almost primal, personal anger.

Panda was no longer sure he was looking at his friend anymore.

By the time the race ended, his attention had turned back completely to the game, though his earlier focus on Alex had cost him a few positions, finishing off in 5th place. Alex, on the other hand had vaulted himself up to 6th while Grizz had managed to move up to 3rd.

"You better watch out, Grizz. I'm making my way up there," Alex said. Panda turned to him, and while he seemed to offer a lighter composure than before, Panda could still see that there was a bit of an edge to his body language.

"Just try it," Grizz responded back, and for the entirety of the third course, Alex seemed to make good on his promise. Panda had risen back to 2nd while Grizz and Alex both finished close behind him, respectively. Ice Bear, who didn't really seem to care about gaming beyond using it to spend time with his siblings, chugged in still at 9th.

"Well, what do you know? I keep moving up several spots with each track. Might as well continue that trend and get 1st this time," Alex said, leaning back to rest in his chair. Panda inwardly breathed a sigh of relief as it seemed he had completely reverted back to his normal playful self. It didn't prevent, however, the worry that raced through his mind from the thoughts on why he had even gotten to that point over something as simple as a game.

"Or I could send you back to last, that's also an option," Grizz haughtily called back. With a newfound sense of determination, however, Alex managed to pull off a complete turnaround, going from the near back end to first place as the final course drew to a close. Grizz mumbled as he followed in closely at 2nd while Panda finished at 3rd.

"So, what was that earlier about someone getting their butt kicked, Crowbar Jones?" Alex quipped in Grizz's direction. Grizz quickly turned his attention to Panda in a look of absolute disbelief.

"You told him about that?" he hissed.

"Oh come on, I mean, once I got over that whole fiasco I had to admit it was actually kind of funny," Panda answered, "you can't honestly expect me not to bring it up from time to time."

"Well, even if your friend came in 1st for just this race, at least _Crowbar Jones_ came in 3rd overall. Tell me, where are you, Alex?" Grizz asked with some mischievousness.

"…5th," Alex deadpanned, his demeanor dipping back into the beginning signs of his earlier broodiness. Noticing this, Panda quickly stood up from his place on the couch.

"Wow, gosh, look at the time. Aren't you supposed to be at the restaurant soon to help close it?" Panda asked Alex. His sudden remembrance caused him to check his phone.

"Oh, damn, you're right. I guess I, uh, got so swept up in this I forgot all about that," he said a little absentmindedly as he began scanning the room for his bag. Upon locating it, he quickly slipped it onto his back and gave a short but thankful goodbye to both of Panda's siblings for having him over. The black and white bear followed him to the doorway and once outside closed it shut behind to give them both a bit of privacy.

"So… what was that all about?"

"What do you mean?" Alex asked, genuinely curious.

"In there, during the game. It seemed like you were getting really upset over it. I got a bit worried over it."

A flash of embarrassment crossed Alex's face, "Well, you've seen me play before. You know I can get kind of competitive."

"That seemed to go a little beyond competitive…"

Alex reached a hand up to scratch at the hair behind his head, "I know, and I'm sorry. It's a bad trait of mine that I thought I had gotten a bit more under control. Sometimes it kind of just… slips out of me. Really though, I probably should be going though. Thanks for inviting me over, it meant a lot to me. I'm glad I got to meet your brothers and I genuinely had a lot of fun with them."

Panda nodded his head, still a little unsure at Alex's explanation for his earlier mood, but understanding enough to know to just let it go for now.

"I'm glad you got to come to. You, and surprisingly Grizz, really helped me out a lot. I'm actually starting to feel like I can do this."

"I honestly don't think you have anything to worry about, Pan-Pan. You've been putting a lot of serious effort into this, and I know you've got it in you to pass with no problems. Before you know it, you'll be signing up for your first of semester of classes at whatever university you pick. Just make sure to text me so we can work out our next session," he said leaning in to give the bear a quick hug.

As Panda reciprocated, he felt Alex's hand quickly slip into his paw before pulling away. In its place, Panda now felt a small, folded up slip of paper instead. He broke away from Alex to look at it with a sense of confusion. A voice, however, broke his attention away from it.

"Don't look at it till right before you go to sleep tonight," Alex said, whom Panda could see had already begun making his way back to the city. However, he paused for a moment and turned back to Panda with a look of sudden remembrance. "By the way," he called, "I'm still working out the details with a couple of my friends' schedules, but if we manage to get things worked out we were thinking of going to Lake Tahoe and going skiing for a couple of days as an early birthday outing for me. Would you want to go? I know it's a little short notice but we didn't really decide on it until recently."

"Y-yeah, I'd love to," he answered, a bit of uncertainty tinging his voice. He knew Alex's birthday was soon, and he had already been on the lookout for a possible gift, but a potential ski trip was not something that had been on his radar. "Just keep me informed about it so I can start getting everything together."

"Will do," Alex replied, waving as he turned and began walking again.

"Talk to you later, Pan."

"See you later too, Alex."

* * *

"Night, bro. I'll see you in the morning. Luff you," Grizz finished, turning off the bedroom light and closing the door behind him.

"You too!" he called back. Panda settled into the covers of his bed and pulled Alex's note off of the bedside table. Using his phone as a source of light, he unfolded it to only see a single sentence etched onto the page.

_Check your photo app_

Unsure of what to expect, he swiped to his phone's main menu and clicked on the appropriate icon. As the screen changed, he found himself staring at his phone's catalogue which, to his surprise, held a new photo of Alex he didn't remember taking. Enlarging it, he recognized the image as the pose Alex had been in when he had interrupted Panda's first quiz.

The caption underneath it read: _I'm incredibly proud of all the progress you've made so far with your studying. I'm happy to have gotten to make such an exciting connection with you these past several months, and I'm glad you asked me to do this with you. Sleep well._

Panda found himself nearly tearing up as he read it, a tightness growing in the pit of his stomach with each new word he saw. He shuffled over to his texting app and wrote out a quick response.

_Hey Alex, just saw what you did, I can't tell you how much I appreciate you and all that you've done for me so far. I never thought I'd meet anyone I felt could be such a genuine friend. I just really want to be able to say thank you._

Merely a few seconds later, he saw the screen of his phone light up.

_Don't even sweat it Pan-Pan. It's what I'm here for. Now go to bed, you deserve the sleep_

_Good night, Alex. Luff you._

Panda wasn't sure if it was the emotions he felt from Alex's photo or his sleepiness or both that caused him to add the last part to the message after only a moment's hesitation. At the moment, it didn't really matter to him. Being something he said to his siblings nightly was enough of a justification at that time to not worry about what including Alex in that group could mean. Like the last one, it only took a few seconds for his phone to flash with a reply.

_Luff you too_ :)

* * *

 

AN: Oh my gosh it's alive! ...Alright so yeah, another long break since the last update. I'll apologize for that here. Now that it's summer and I'm no longer bogged down by assignments and finals, things should go a lot smoother. Thank you to everyone who continues to read this. It means a lot to me. If you've got any comments about the story, don't hesitate to make them!


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